Tokyo Impressions

Live Each Moment

2009-07-28T21:04:00.000-07:00

Hypothetically if your day of death could be accurately predicted, I imagine that feeling is comparable to what I am going through right now. Its not that I'm depressed, I guess it is just looming. A confusion of emotions...happy, sad, excited, nervous...

I think it is like growing up. When you are young, you rush through life. Its not till you really realize how fast time goes, and accept that you won't be living forever, that you appreciate how special it really is.

Long trips are this way for me. At the beginning is is whatever; weeks, months sound like so long. But when there are only days left I freak out. Theres always so much that I wish I could have done.

This isn't very clear, but neither are my thoughts and feelings...

I fly home Sunday and each day that goes by makes it feel like the beginning of the end. It is only complicated by the international nature of this program and the people I have met. Friends, acquaintances, people I see on a daily basis are not only from the US and Japan, but from all over the world. Ya we may all come back to Japan at various times in our lives, but it will never be the same group of people at the same place at the point in our lives that we are now.

It takes extreme situations like this for me to realize the real value of seemingly ordianary days. I do hope we all meet up again, but it won't be the same as it is this time. We won't be the college students we are now. Maybe our favorite bars will have closed, or we maybe we'll be too old to go karoke. There are probably people here who I will never see again.

I wish I could freeze time for a day and take a snapshot of the last four months.

I guess this goes for all situations. It will never be the same next time. Live life in the moments.

Don't be sad its over, be happy it happened.

More Notes...

2009-07-26T23:23:00.000-07:00

"The Wakatake World"
new food court
"no it couldn't have gotten any worse than that..."
bro/sis 180 degrees of difference
home
korea

The End (almost)...

2009-07-23T06:56:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how fast my time has gone here. In less than 12 days I will be on a plane home...I really have mixed feelings about this one. As much as I want to go home, I wish I had more time.

One of my friends wrote on his Facebook status, "please don't make me go..." He's only here a semester too, but from what I've heard, even a year goes by fast. I felt like that comment really captured the connection and attachment that a lot of us have with Tokyo and I guess Japan in general.

I've been trying to quantify how much I've grown, how much better my Japanese is, how my perspective has changed, etc. But I think stuff like that is impossible to really measure...But at the same time I find it funny...

Right now my brother is here, staying at my dorm. Its his first time in Japan, much less Tokyo, and he hasn't taken Japanese since high school. It makes me laugh because I am the one doing the translating (or rather rough translating). I find it ironoic because the first couple of weeks I was here, the position that I have been delegated was filled by Travis. He taught me how to buy train tickets and navigate the crowds. He would find good restaurants, the shops we wanted to go to, and make suggestions for sights to see. Things I seem to take for granted are hurdles for my little brother. He always says, "I'm HAVING STRUGGLES!"

Today we went to Harajuku. I was able to find our way to the Atmos store (which is off a side street and located among a bajillion other small boutiques), ALL BY MYSELF. Haha, I've only been there twice. Then we purposely set off in the right direction to find a Lawsons, then Kiddy Land. At that point we were at Omotesando, so we went to an udon and tempura shop that Trav really likes and is really cheap. And back to the train station.

I must make a note that this is soo incredible because I am terrible at directions. I get lost in mall back home, BUT somehow I can get around surprisingly well here. It really shocks me! It is sad, but at times I feel like I know Tokyo better than I know Seattle...I had to text Travis my accomplishment! It was just that special, lol.

Idk what I'm trying to say...but basically I'm just wasting time so I don't have to study for my finals. Back to work now...

Fuji: Reflection on Living

2009-07-14T01:31:00.000-07:00

I was about to name this post the "Fuji Fiasco," but I realize today more than ever, attitude MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE! shapes how people experience life. Let me explain...

A Japanese woman who lives in my dorm organized a Fuji hike with a tour group, so I automatically signed up (even though it was Monday-Tuesday, haha).

I went to ABC Mart in Shibuya, two days before the hike, to buy some shoes. I asked a sales person about hiking boot. It made me laugh because he automatically started giving me recommendations for Fuji. Haha, tourist alert. They didn't have my size in the cheap design...so I ended up getting a fairly expensive pair of ugly brown boots. I was speaking to him in Japanese and he said that there should be room for my toes to move. I couldn't figure out how to ask "how much room?", so I still don't know if they are the right size.

8 of us rode with a tour group on a chartered bus to the 5th base of Fuji. Monday afternoon we hiked up to the 8th station and slept a few hours in giant bunk beds. Woke up at 1 and hiked in the dark to the summit to watch the sunrise.

I was super impressed by the old Japanese people who were making the hike. I would say half of the people in our group were at least over 60. Fuji is made out to be a real easy tourist mountain from what I've read online, but I must admit it was not as easy as it is made out to be. It is not necessarily strenuous, but the terrain is rocky and it requires a lot of cardio endurance.

The view even from the 8th station is great at night. The lights from the cities below made us realize how high we already were. And looking up the mountain, all you could see was a path of people's headlights, the never-ending path up the mountain.

Along the hike, this was the first time I've ever heard Japanese people talking to total strangers. Where in the US, it is common to say hi to people you see on the street, it is not the case here. But Japanese strangers were greeting each other and saying "gambatte" (good luck/work hard). Almost all the hikers we saw were Japanese, which surprised me. However there were some foreigners, most who couldn't speak Japanese at all.

I think this would be a nice hike to take on your own, more so than in a group.

Surprisingly waiting for the sunrise was the hardest part of the whole hike. Walking up we weren't cold, because we were moving. But at the top the wind was blowing and the chill factor from the height was incredible. I had never been so cold in my life! At 4:20ish am(!) the sun lit up the valley. With the lakes, cities, and surrounding mountains, the view of the lush green was unbelievable. Lol, all I could think was that it reminded me of the "Land Before Time" movies :)

Hiking down the problems began. Taking pictures, fell behind a few people, but there were still four behind me. So I followed the crowd and apparently missed the fork in the road. It wasn't till I got down to the wrong 5th station that I realized what happened. Another girl from my down also was there. I wasn't too reassured though because the whole trip she was perpetually late and always complained. AND she couldn't speak any Japanese. So I ended up using a lot of Japanese today.

I asked around and apparently the two bases are really far (like around the mountain) from each other. It would cost about $100 to catch a cab there, but a souvenir shop owner suggested we catch a cab to the bus stop. So we caught a cab that was dropping off some ladies at the entry to the trail. We went to the bus stop the woman suggested and the cabbie got out to make sure we caught the right one. It was lucky he did because apparently the bus doesn't stop there during the week. He spoke to some construction workers nearby and they suggested another bus stop.

Not only was the girl I was with not paying attention (nor could she understand), but she bitched the whole time. When I told her we had to go to another bus stop all she said was something like, "Well why did we come to this one?!? And the taxi driver is just gonna charge us more to bring us to the other one!"

Not only was I paying for everything (because she only had $10!), but he didn't charge us for the extra drive! So $16 each for the taxi ride.

He confirmed with someone waiting at the bus stop that it was the right one. Then he looked up the time for the next bus and went on his way. At that point he said it was impossible to get to the base by the time our tour bus was going to leave. So I had no idea what we were going to do.

We caught the next bus, unsure if it was going the right way. I asked if it was going to the train station, but I forgot the name of the station that we had to transfer at...lucky we were saved again by a man and a younger guy who said that they went down the wrong way too. So we rode the bus together hoping to transfer to another one to take us to the place we needed to be.

The girl I was with was visibly pissed off. I honestly would rather have been lost by myself than with her. I had to translate everything for her and then she would just scoff at whatever was just said, it was terrible.

It was a nice bus ride, I must admit. We saw a lot of the area that I wouldn't have had to change to otherwise. The area around Fuji is gorgeous. Trees, lakes, rice paddies. Might as well enjoy it. Another $14.

When we got to the train station, I explained to the middle aged man who was helping us that we needed to get to the 5th station by 11. So he frantically started asking around for us. It was impossible. The earliest we could get there was 11:40 and there was no guarantee the bus would still be there.

I had the girl keep calling people in our group, but service is spotty at best up there. We didn't know the name of the tour group, nor did we have a contact number for them, since the woman in our dorm set everything up. So we couldn't reach anyone. It looked like we were going to have to find our own way home.

We figured we might as well wait, just in case anyone called us. So we waited.

The man who helped us out earlier had bought us water and wanted to make sure we were okay. He was really nice. The girl was in her pissy state, but I talked with the man for a bit and tried to get him to write down his name, etc. so I could send a thank you or something. He would only give me the name and number of his store. His friend picked him us and he wished us good luck.

Finally I bought tickets for the next available bus to Shinjuku. Only $17 each.

But while we were waiting for the bus, we got a call from someone in our group. They waited for 50 minutes for us, but were at an onsen in another town. The girl thought we should try to meet up with them, so I had to return the bus tickets. We bought train tickets and went off again. I really doubted we would be able to find them...

Got to the right city, didn't know the exact name of the onsen, but caught a taxi to one that we thought it was. Found out it was the wrong one. Walked to the hotel and got a lot of help from the people working there. I had to explain to the girl that it was the wrong location again. This time she let out a big sigh. Haha, I was fed up with it and finally told her to just be quiet. I was just like he's trying to HELP US! We got a name of a nearby onsen that it might be.

Walked to a nearby bus station and got directions to the place. They sold tickets to Shinjuku and at that point I was just ready to go home. I told her I was going to buy a ticket back to Tokyo. Had to loan her $30 more and finally I was alone! Today was the first time I had ever done anything with this girl, but I already know I would rather never see her again if that was at all possible!

I have always felt like life is what you make it. If you are pessimistic, no matter how good things are, they are never good enough. Whereas if make what you can out of every situation, it will never be as bad as it might be. Its the difference between appreciating what you have v. wanting what you can't/don't have.

The girl kept complaining on how much money we had to spend on transportation. But really did we have a choice? NO we didn't. If anything she should have been lucky there was anyone at all who could loan her money. There is no way she would have made it even to the train station with $10.

She would get angry when she found out we were at the wrong place for the umptenth time. If she was by herself, it was unlikely she would have been able to figure anything out. But at the same time she overlooked the help they were giving us. It was above and beyond what they were expected to do. It was time out of their busy days to help strangers. There is no point in directing your anger at them, of all people!

In no way am I trying to emphasize my role in this, but I feel like she doesn't even realize how much worse it could have been. I completely credit my return trip to the taxi driver and the man on the bus. I think it is soo important to demonstrate your appreciation, no matter how big or small. I hope the two men today realize how much their small acts of kindness meant to me.

Negativity breeds negativity and in the period from 9-2:30 I was fed up. Not with the situation, but how it was handled.

仕方がない (it can't be helped), so you just have to make the best of it. Today I practiced Japanese for most of the day, was understood, and was able to translate. Saw a lot of the city. Shared the experience with those who also went the wrong way (I was glad to know I wasn't the only one!) Realized the patience and kindness in people, even when faced with an angry foreigner and another who spoke broken Japanese :) And even at an extra $54 was the trip still worth it? Of course.

I learned more about myself and perhaps areas for my improvement too.

How do I want to live my life? I hope to always find the good in each day, no matter how bad it may seem. I want to be the person who can smile in the most dire of situations. I can only hope I am considered a grateful person. More than anything, I hope to keep my optimism and faith in others.

Today was a good day.

The Other Side

2009-07-09T23:21:00.000-07:00

As optomistic as the previous post sounds, I have absolutely reached my threshold for school. I cannot threaten myself, reward myself, or in any other manner get any self-motivation to keep on going to class. There have been rounds of good and bad for me, but I must admit that this is the worst it has ever been. I am stuck and can only pray for the next two weeks of school and then finals to be as painless as possible.

I've fallen asleep studying 2 times within the last 5 days, I missed class yesterday, and likely got a C (or worse) on a kanji test today. I don't know how to dig myself out of this one...

And no wonder the term has seemed long, not only am I in Japan, but my intensive class meets everday for 3 hours and I can admit that it has exstinguished my desire to ever take another Japanese class, EVER again! Sophia also runs on a semester that is 15 weeks, compared to the 9 week quarters that I am used to. Bleh.

I am excited and ready to go home, but not necessarily because of homesickness or issues with Japanese society. But rather, I cannot wait to be finished with these never-ending, unforgiving classes. I want to worry about things other than projects and papers, I want to wake up after 7:15, I WANT A SUMMER! I want to relax and I want to be finished.

Learning

2009-07-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

I am working on an annotated bibliography assignment right now. It is a process of gathering 20+ sources, 1 page analysis of each, then an 8-10 page paper about all of them (how they are tied together, what they show, etc). It is due in 3 days and I can tell its gonna be a long weekend. However the sequence to events that have led me to this point have been surprising.

I initially chose to focus on the topic of returnees (Japanese nationals who moved back to Japan). The project is not a report, but rather a portrayal of how they are represented by different sources. I gathered 20 sources, not great ones, but I wrote the analysis for each. I wasn't that happy with what I came up with even though the analysis themselves took me about 10hrs (half an hour for each).

I went in to talk to my professor last week. I explained to him how the Japanese citizens who were abducted by North Korea in the 1970-1980's received a lot of media attention and they were accepted almost immediately, whereas regular returnees (who chose to go abroad) are usually discriminated against when they get back. At that moment I realized the potential in comparing the difference in how each group is portrayed. 11 days before this thing was due, I decided to totally switch the focus of the paper...

Over the last week, I found 10 new sources, analyzed each, and am now attempting to pull it all together in these last few days. For my own knowledge I was interested in this issue. Although it is kicking my butt now, at the time I couldn't believe my curiosity. It made more work for myself, but I felt like it was worth it, not only for the grade, but also for the sake of learning?! Haha, this is perhaps one of the few times I have felt compelled to not take the easiest way out.

The beauty of learning. This is one of the first times I have felt compelled to get as much as I can out of an assignment. Right now I just want it to be over, but I don't think I will regret this decision.

OKINAWA!

2009-07-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

A few friends and I took a weekend trip to the island. It was super quick, but such a nice getaway. When the plane was pulling into the Tokyo airport, it was funny for me to think how normal it seemed. Tokyo has become my norm. Still exciting, but normal. It makes me laugh. Who woulda thought? And my hometown had a population of 10,000.

I don't have time to do an Okinawa post justice now. The choices for time are getting harder and harder now. We hardly slept this weekend and got back Sunday late afternoon. Adventures, sleep, or homework? Balancing the three is becoming impossible.

I have exactly 4 weeks left.

I am Not Good at Budgeting!

2009-07-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

Again, it seems as though I possess no money skills at all. I thought I was doing a great job reeling in my spending, but my bills and receipts tell otherwise. Epic fail.

When you travel though you really just hafta do as much as you can. And yes, it will cost money. But when you are halfway around the world, you might as well take advantage of it. If you can't afford it, don't travel. The expense is part of the experience and there's no reason to be cheap. Or that's what I've come to believe.

Every penny has been worth it. You can't buy memories like these. And I can't but to think that there is no better time in my life to be in Tokyo than now. Tokyo really is a city for young people. If anything I have gotten my money at the karaoke and bars. Where else in the world do they have all you can drink for $20 or less?

Can't believe I only have a month left. I'm gonna get the most out of it.

People

2009-07-01T00:18:00.000-07:00

It is so interesting thinking about the conditions and choices that people made to get here. That sentence is a little confusing but consider these examples:

There is a man living in my dorm from Siri Lanka. He works at a computer company and has lived in Tokyo for over a year and will be around for a couple more. He is an engineer and was hired because the Japanese company had an international recruiting effort. He was explaining to me a project he is working on. It involves a portable hard drive, so that someone could carry something as small as a usb and then be able to run their programs/everything off any computer.

Another guy here is a bit of a nerd, but is from the states and started a job working for the Japanese government. He is white, but he passed the highest level on the national standardized Japanese proficiency test. He is now studying to take a national kanji test that is actually meant for Japanese people. I learned all about the alcohol taxes, etc from him, why you can get a bottle of skyy for less than $10 and the reason behind the different prices of beer.

Guy, from my Japanese class, lived his whole life in Manhattan. But five years ago, retired, sold most of the businesses he owned, and decided to move to Japan. He shipped his furniture and everything. I don't believe he knew any Japanese before coming. But he is totally happy here and loves Tokyo.

I met a few young (in their 20's) American guys that are working at Goldman Sachs in Tokyo. That just blows my mind.

But besides personal examples, I always wonder about the non-Japanese people that run their own restaurants, etc here...

It is always funny to me to be greeted into a restaurant or sold something by someone who is obviously not Japanese, but is speaking to me in Japanese. Idk why, it just seems curious to me.

There are a lot of kebab places here, actually a surprising number. Almost all of them are run by Middle-Easternish men, usually from Turkey (based on their flag decorations). Some Indian restaurants. And when I went to Thai Fest in Yoyogi park, there were a ton of Thai people that were selling food and produce from Thailand.

I can't help but think about the sacrifices and planning that it must have taken to get here. Not only to learn the language, but to establish a business, leave their family and everything they love about their country, and relocate and adapt to the ways of Japan.

That is a HUGE decision to make. It is so different than moving to the U.S., Britain, or Australia, where the whole country is largely multi-cultural and full of immigrants. Tokyo, as cosmopolitan and international as it is, still is hugely mono-cultural, etc. Overall people look the same and non-Japanese are so easy to spot. I always wondered what it would be to live as such a minority.

I give huge props to all the people who are able to take risks like this. Afterall, life is meant to be lived to its fullest.

The Future...

2009-07-01T00:08:00.000-07:00

I've met a ton of people recently with MAJOR positions/internships in Tokyo. Friends of friends. But they are my age. A couple of guys working at huge financial corporations (aka Goldman Sachs, etc.) One guy from Hawaii graduated and works a 12 hr day here, salaryman at 22. HUGE first job though.

It makes me feel like I totally have no direction with my life. Haha, I hate the question, "What are you going to do after graduation?" Honestly I still don't know...and I graduate in December. It is scary and exciting at the same time.

No More Excuses

2009-06-27T01:29:00.000-07:00

The weather in Tokyo has gotten especially unbearable since last week. It is officially a sticky, hot, humid summer in Japan. Aka I easily get sweaty, grumpy, and sleepy...not a great combination.

But it is almost July, meaning I only have a month left. I can't believe it...

Time for some new goals:

1. No excuses: I need to back as much as possible into these last 37 days. No doubt I'll be tired and exhausted, but that's no reason to leave a party early. From now on I'm gonna be running on adrenaline and cheap (fake) coffee.

2. Go to class: For crying out loud, I need to show up to class. Being late is better than not making it at all. I can't afford to blow my grades.

3. Have as much fun as possible and make this experience memorable and worth it!

Stupid

2009-06-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

I feel like the biggest dumb ass right now. It's funny how something drastic needs to happen sometimes to snap you back to reality. And that's exactly what just happened to me.

I have been slacking in Japanese and my attendance has been terrible this week. Didn't go to class today or yesterday, and was late for like the 3 days before that. I figured, what the heck, I'M IN JAPAN. Class is everyday and I'm kinda fed up with it. I've already accepted the fact that I am loosing 10% of my grade between class participation and attendance, because between my weekend trips and other excuses, I won't be making it to 90% of the classes. So hafta forfeit that part of my grade. Alright, that's fine.

BUT I just RIGHT NOW realized that Sophia doesn't give +/-'s. SOOO A (100-90) is a 4.0, B (89-80) is a 3.0, and C (79-70) is a 2.0. Time to panic. That means I only can loose 10% of my remaining points in order to get a B, otherwise its a 2.0 on my transcripts! OMG. Crap. It wouldn't be too bad, but this class is 8 semester (12 quarter credits) and has the potential of seriously making a dent in the GPA I've worked 3 years for...

It's sad it takes this to make me care. There's no way this isn't gonna hurt. My 3.7 is history...

Time to put on the Bob Marley and start working.

Study Abroad - Classes = Perfect

2009-06-24T06:17:00.000-07:00

As much as I am not ready to go back to the states, I just wish school was finished...

This is a testament to the fact that I always knew I would never be able to last a whole semester. Omg how do people do it? Seriously.

Leaving my place at 8am to go to Japanese class every morning, 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, for 3 and a half months = IMPOSSIBLE. I must look like the worst student ever. And there's a month and counting.

This is my last quarter of classes, so I'll let myself slack for now. I'm in Tokyo after all. I'd be happy with straight B's.

Short Phone Call

2009-06-24T05:32:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up late for class, and instead of rushing to school, I decided to miss class so I could use the time to make a call.

I dialed my grandparent's house.

I admit I haven't really called home much. Actually I've only talked to my parent's once. And that's it. No one in my family is up late enough for the time difference that separates us. And I cannot even wake up in time for my morning classes, much less get up before then to talk before I leave. So this is actually only the second time I have actually called the states...as sad as that is for 3 months that have gone by already...

My grandpa answered and was quite shocked to hear it was me. After his characteristic quick words of greeting he passed the phone on to my grandma. "Hurry up Cora," I could hear him saying. "It's Laurel!" I could tell she was especially happy to talk to me. She eagerly asked me questions about Japan, my studies, and when I was coming back. We didn't speak for long, but it seemed to mean a lot to her that I called. I felt bad after for not phoning them earlier...

My relatives really made a big deal about this study abroad. I could never really understand until today.

I never realized what an impact one event would have on a culture. But from the second Pearl Harbor was attacked, a huge part of my culture died in my relatives. My grandparents were my age when they were interned. And because of that, almost no 3rd generation Japanese-Americans learned the Japanese language from their parents. Including my parents.

My parent's don't have Japanese middle names, but instead, Ann and Dale. My dad has not even traveled to Japan yet. And even my grandparent's have only made short trips here. We are not really in contact with any of my distant Japanese relatives and I truthfully don't even know what part of Japan my family's ancestors were originally from.

This study abroad is exactly the kind of opportunity that was not available to my grandparents or even my parents. Not only did they not have the money, but such a trip could pose a conflict of interests with their desire to be considered post WWII loyal Americans. With this realization, I know that I need to make the most of this experience. It took two generations for my family to not be ashamed of being Japanese.

I've met a lot of Nikkei jins (Japanese-Americans) here and it makes me happy that my generation is reviving aspects of Japanese culture. We are learning the language, traveling around the country, and filling in our understanding of ourselves. When I have kids, I hope Japan is not such a distant, foreign place to them.

Mornings Are Killer

2009-06-23T01:10:00.000-07:00

Instead of catching up with sleep on the weekends, my philosophy now is that I can use the week to catch up from the crazy weekend. All I can say about that is...its not working out too well...as you can probably imagine...

Today I woke up late again for Japanese class. It was the third day in a row I got to class over 15 minutes late. I probably look like the worst student ever. But its gotten unusually hot and humid lately and there was no way I would have even been close to getting there on time unless I ran. And from yesterday, I decided getting sweaty and disgusting before packing myself into a train is not good for me or any of the people that are smashed against me.

Between getting late to class and missing it completely (for legitimate reasons, trips I have coming up) I am pretty sure I am going to miss out on my attendance and participation part of my Japanese grade. There goes 10%. But I really am trying, I swear.

I couldn't help but to think on my walk this morning, if attendance and participation is so important for the Japanese classes, Sophia should schedule the classes later in the day. Or at least not 1st Period!!! They placed us in housing, so the school must know that a bunch of exchange students live at least an hour away. It seems so counter-intuitive for them to schedule the Japanese classes (that are MANDATORY for exchange students) before lunch. Why first period? Lol, I'm proud of myself for making it to as many classes as I have so far!

To Do List:

2009-06-22T08:59:00.001-07:00

There is so much to do, but for now I want to fit these in before I go home:

*Tsukiji Fish Market
*Kabuki
*Miyazaki Museum
*Tokyo Tower
*Yasukuni Jinja
*Edo-Tokyo Museum
*Homeless Encampment
*Edo Castle

And eat monjayaki, whale, and blowfish...

Can't believe I still haven't done some of this stuff yet :( Am I missing anything?

Sleep Deprived (6/21)

2009-06-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

For Sunday my friend bought tickets to see the Tokyo Giant's baseball game in their home stadium. But since Val was here, I ended up staying out all night Saturday. Since Thursday, my chances to sleep had been few and far between. Thursday, as I said before, I missed my train home, so only slept 7am-9am Friday morn. Friday slept 1:30am-9 and Saturday night was out all night again. So by the time I got home at 6:30am Sunday morn I was beat. By the time I took a shower, it was nearly 7am and I needed to catch a few hours of shut eye before meeting up with the girls for the game.

I set my alarms and passed out right away...

I woke up with a jerk. Next to my pillow was my alarm clock...not a good sign...Usually when I wake up to my alarm I turn it off and bring the clock to my bed to reset it for later. I don't remember waking up to it and I don't remember it going off and I don't know how it got to my bed...Maybe I woke up to turn it off and forgot to reset it! I freaked out.

The clock said 10:23. Was that AM or PM?!? And what day is it???? Is it Sunday still or did I sleep through the day!!!

My curtains were closed, so I couldn't tell if it was night or day. Or WHAT day it was for that matter. CRAP...maybe Kim has been calling me. What if they are waiting for me and missed the game? They had my ticket afterall...oh shit.

I checked the time on my phone, but again I only got the numbers, not the am or pm...I ran to my computer and realized it was 10:23 AM, SUNDAY. Wow that was a close one. Lol, no missed calls either. Haha I was only asleep a little over 3 hours.

I decided to stay up. So for Thursday-Saturday I only slept 12 hours.

Might as Well Be In a Soap Opera...

2009-06-22T03:46:00.000-07:00

I feel like if someone taped all the relationship stuff that I've seen here, it could have the potential to be TV worthy. People would probably watch it just like another crappy reality show..."Gaijins in Japan: Trying to make their relationships work."

Just within the last two months. I've heard/seen so much drama go down. For instance:

An exchange student who proposed to his girlfriend, who is back in the states, when she was here for golden week. In that instant their relationship went from an "open" one to one with an actual long-term commitment. They weren't even officially together prior to the proposal.

A girl who just broke up with her long-distance Japanese boyfriend of 3 years. Strangely, happened when she actually moved to Japan and actually could spend time with him (I don't understand...). Then got with a German exchange student, who she raves about.

Another girl who broke up with her fiance, who is back home. But seems confused with which Japanese guy she should spend time with. Seems to be juggling a lot of them. Too many Japanese guys she met at the club. Hard decision.

And among others, an international couple, girl from Netherlands and American guy, who just got together. What do you do after you go home?

While I am surprised by this, perhaps it is to be expected. Its easy to feel lonely when you are totally away from your friends, family, and culture that you are use to. It's also nice to share an experience like this with someone you are emotionally close to.

Although the distance has been tough for me and Reese, I can't help but feel relieved that we won't have to make the kinds of decisions that these international couples will have to, when it is time for them to go home. For now, Reese and I don't have to debate what country to live in or what to do about us in the near future. We'll both be in Seattle till December at least.

Culture Shock: Self Hate

2009-06-22T03:22:00.000-07:00

Whenever I travel I have huge reactions against my own "American culture." Just looked this up and apparently this culture shock coping method is entitled "utilizing the culture: totally adopting new culture and rejection own culture and identity." Idk if this is the right term. But basically I have consciously been trying to separate myself with all things that not only identify me as a gaijin, but also as an American.

I hate how bad this must sound, but most American's I've seen here are your typical otaku. Or at least at Sophia. Apparently Aoyama is different I have heard from Travis. I have seen the American stereotypes played out like no other here, lol in real people, in real situations. I can't help but think that many of the negative generalizations of Americans are not only possible, but seem to totally embody American tourists/exchange students.

I am usually really tolerant of people or at least not too judgmental, but here I have met a ton of people that I just cannot stand. The most obnoxious, spoiled, stupid, and just plain strange people I have ever met in my life I have talked to here. And sadly most came straight from the states.

Of course I know in my head this is just a mental exaggeration. And yes, there are normal people and actually really great people here too. I've met a number of them too. But that cannot hide the fact that I am despising the American part of my identity.

If I was here a few years ago, before Obama was elected, I might even be tempted to say I was from Canada or something, LOL.

This isn't to say that I love everything about Japan. But I am reacting in exactly the opposite way that I know a lot of the exchange students here are. Instead of resenting Japanese customs, practices, and expressing anger toward Japanese people and their subtleties (like I've seen a lot of people do), I look back to America and immediately see everything that is wrong with my home country.

What I hate about America (i guess these are the main ones)

*how much of an influence we have across the world (Americanization at its prime)
*how wasteful we are
*how ignorant Americans are
*how demanding, inflexible we are when we travel
*what a bad representation tourists are for the US

More notes:

2009-06-22T02:08:00.001-07:00

Suuuper Japanese- matsuri, otera
Sophia-Nanzan Sports Fest
Antique fest
"Mental" documentary
Korea Town- Shin Okubo
Sleep
Tokyo Dome- Giants
Ginza- street closed
Hayato NY

Class Participation- or lack there of...
Visitor Session-speed dating
bilingual fluency...jealous!

Grocery stores
commuting kids
department store-omiyage
undesirable jobs: how are they filled? girls (pre marriage) and old ppl?

Reese's Extended Japanese Family

2009-06-21T03:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was invited out to dinner by Reese's family in Japan. Jenna just got here and is staying with them for nearly two and a half weeks.

I was anticipating this dinner for quite a while. My Japanese is still quite bad and I was mainly afraid of sounding impolite. I tend to speak casually on accident when I address my professors or pretty much anyone. It just slips out. And I feel like I am not well versed enough in Japanese etiquette in general. Val went with me before to pick up some omiyage. What should I buy? How much should I spend? How many people are going to be there? There were more questions than answers and more feelings of insecurity and nervousness than confidence.

How crazy is it that I'm meeting Reese's extended Japanese family?! His auntie, uncle, and cousins. Kind just blew my mind that I would be meeting them when Reese wasn't there to introduce me to them. Kinda makes me laugh. Its cute and surprising at the same time.

We met in Ginza and I got there half an hour to be sure I wasn't late. Really, really nice family. I felt at ease immediately. We walked around some stores there before going to the restaurant.

I met Reese's uncle, cousins, and cousin's wife (who's birthday we were celebrating that night) at the restaurant. It was really cute because they were deciding for a while where people should sit. Their cousin's wife was the guest of honor because it was her birthday, but they said that Jenna and I were also guests. Quite Japanese. Really interesting talking to all of them. The three cousins are all under 30, so it was interesting to hear about their jobs, hobbies, and lives. Especially since they are young and haven't been out of college for long. They are also quite Japanese, so I can't help but to think that their experiences are probably at least on some level fairly typical of the Japanese generation.

Ate some really interesting food too. It was yakiniku, but we had stomach (pork? i can't remember), liver (of some sort), beef sashimi (raw ground beef kinda, mixed with a raw egg) among other things. I tend to like "normal" types of food, lol not the rare, specialty kinds I guess. But it was good to try. I actually liked the beef sashimi a lot.

Valerie in Tokyo

2009-06-21T02:55:00.000-07:00

One of Travis and my friends from Seattle has been studying in Sendai, Japan. Valerie has been here for a semester already and will be going home around the same time as us. We met up with her when we first got here. But she came down again this weekend.

Friday:

We all went to eat Korean food in Shin Okubo. Its like a little Korea town there and there are some really great restaurants. Travis's friend recommended a Korean BBQ 食べ放題 (all you can eat) and it was unbelievable. Realized that is one of the first times I have eaten actual meat since I got here. Or at least hunks of meat as the main course.

Afterwards the three of us picked up snacks and alcohol and went to drink in Yoyogi Park. It seems as though a lot of people go to the parks to hang out on the weekends. There were people drinking, practicing dance, riding bikes, and skateboarding when we got there. By that time it was already dark, but was lit by street lamps. First time the three of us had a chance to talk for a while. It was really nice just to catch up.

Saturday:

Woke up early to go to Yokohama's Chinatown. Definitely the largest Chinatown I've ever been to. It was really weird because it didn't feel like we were even in Japan. And haha, at times we couldn't tell if people were speaking Chinese or Japanese. This was definitely the most Asian I've ever felt.

Ate at a kaiten dim sum restaurant. What a Japanese concept! Different dim sum dishes would come around on the belt, but you could also order what you wished. I couldn't help but to think that it is more efficient that way, rather than waiting for the food carts to be pushed from table to table, like dim sum is usually served. So nice to finally eat Chinese food.

Stumbled upon a parade with bands, lion dancers, dragon, flag girls, etc.

That night we went out to get drinks with Trav, Val, and some of their Japanese friends. Karaoked all night...i'm pooped...

The Series of Misfortunate Events (6/18)

2009-06-21T02:03:00.000-07:00

Lol this was an experience...

Thursday I went to a concert with two friends. One of the guys was from Seattle and goes to SU, the other is in my Japanese class at Sophia. I was so excited because the concert was Shaggy, J. Holiday, T.O.K., Sean Kingston, Pitbull, Lil Jon, and Omarion. It seems odd to go to an American music concert, but the lineup was decent and with the student discount, we got tickets for half price.

It is hard to even explain the influence and prevelance of American artists and songs here. Pretty much any venue (retail, restaurant, entertainment) that caters to or tries to attract young Japanese customers will be playing mainstream English rap/r&b/pop songs. Its really quite weird. Its is very rare that they would be playing Japanese songs. Clubs I've been in so far have been dominated with the exact same songs, artists that you would expect to hear in the US. Anyway, so basically this phenomena is not as strange as you might expect.

The concert was crazy! We got tickets for the 1st floor and it was only standing. Basically wherever you wanted too. The first floor was packed. 2nd floor tickets were twice as much, but were seating. We got our tickets for $60, but standing was originally $120 and seats were $200. I couldn't imagine paying that much ever! We were just feet from the stage and could actually see the artists faces. Got our rasta on.

The concert started late and we lost track of the time. By the time we realized it, it was 11:20 pm! We needed to rush to catch our trains home. Didn't even get to stay for the whole concert.

We rushed to the train station and caught the train going back to Shinjuku. But just a few stops in it stopped. We waited on it wondering what happened. Turns out that was the last stop in our direction. Unfortunately we didn't realize it until a few minutes later and we started going back the way we came from!

So we had to get off at the next stop and transfer to ride in the right direction again, and then transfer again at the last stop. But the time we got to Shinjuku, my last train had already left. One guy was able to get home, but two of us were stranded.

I had already decided that it would be too expensive for me to go home by taxi or to stay overnight in a hotel. Kim had to stay overnight at a train station when she and her boyfriend missed their train coming back from Kyoto, so I figured worst case scenario, I might have to do the same. Japan is safe enough it isn't too sketch.

I know there are internet cafes that you can basically stay overnight in, but I really don't know Shinjuku well enough to even know what exit to go out. Frank and I decided to go to McDonalds or somewhere like that to crash.

We went out a random side exit where there were a lot of office and city buildings but not many restaurants/fast food joints. Somehow we were able to find a 24 hr McDonalds, get food there, and sit down. Frank fell asleep but I stayed up.

Our situation was made worse by the fact that it was a THURSDAY night and we had a Japanese TEST the next morning. There is no way we could skip class. At at that point, nearly 1:30 am neither of us had started studying for it...

Apparently at 2 am, they close the dining area. Lol, no doubt for people with the same idea as us. So we were politely kicked out. Where now? Lol still 3+ hours till the first trains run.

We decided to just walk back to the station.

......

There is a long corridor that leads to the station. It is totally covered and seemed to be a very popular place for homeless Japanese to sleep. It was dead silent as we walked down it. One of the saddest things I have ever seen. People, one after another, sleeping on either side for a ridiculously ridiculously long wide walkway. It probably took 20 minutes to walk through and there were no large empty spaces that didn't have people sleeping there. Some had cardboard built into little boxes to cover them as they sleep. Others were sleeping on top of a few pieces of it. Some had blankets, other didn't. Most had very very few possessions. Probably the direct opposite of the homeless bag people in the US.

We saw an old woman walking into the corridor carrying a single piece of cardboard. It was obvious she hadn't showered in a while, but the saddest thing was that she couldn't have been much older than my grandma. I nearly cried. Probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to see. I wondered how long she's had to sleep in the station. How old she was. What her life was like when she was younger. She was one of the few women I saw in the station that night.

......

Frank and I picked a place to stay and sat down against the back part of a staircase. We had some privacy, but in the distance I could see another group of homeless people. And another guy was sleeping a ways from us. Frank fell asleep, but I stayed up to study. I was fine with staying wherever, just as long as I had something to do. And lucky for me, I had my Japanese notes, homework and could borrow Franks Japanese books.

The police that was scanning the area and came over to ask in Japanese if we were okay. I surprisingly understood everything he said. Basically to watch out for our bags, what time we could enter the station, and to take care.

I studied until we went to catch our trains at 4:30 am. Lol on the train I drifted in and out between stops. From one stop to the next, I would fall sleep and wake up started as the music signaled the doors were closing. Probably 7 times in a row, I jerked awake thinking I was missing my stop. I finally got back to my dorm at 6:30, took a shower (that I was so happy for), and decided to sleep for a bit before going to class.

Of course that it was a bad idea from the beginning to sleep. I managed to turn off my alarm and fall back asleep. I somehow woke up at 9 am. CRAP! My class and test starts at 9:15! AND it takes me an hour to get to school! I threw on clothes and ran. Got to school at 10 and had the last 20 minutes to do the test. Lol usually you were given an hour and five minutes!!! I finished though and did get there in time to hear the listening questions.

That day I realized how much of a difference someone's attitude has on the whole situation. The guy that made it home that night was freaking out. Cussing, getting angry, not only making the situation harder for himself, but also for me and Frank. Your outlook can make all the difference. If you keep a cool head, think rationally, and make the best of it, it makes everything more bearable. I feel like I don't panic as much as I would have when I first get here. Just do what you can, there's nothing more you can do. Make the best of everything and look for the positive.

Like my dad always tells me, "Think, what can I learn for next time?" And after the night was over, Frank said, "At least we don't have to stay here every night." No matter how bad it may seem, it can always be worse.

OMG Its Going Way Way Too Fast

2009-06-21T01:49:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it is nearly the end of June. The four months are really flying by. Now that I only have a little over a month left, I am starting to panic. There is still so much I wanna do. I feel like I really haven't seen that much of Tokyo even though I've been to so many different areas/cities I cannot remember their names. My weekends from now till I go home are packed! One of my friends here is planning a Korea trip, but as much as I wanted to go, there was absolutely no way I could have fit it in.

I realized I have not kept up with my blog at all. I am nearly 3 weeks behind in my posts. Or at least in updating my weekend outings. Without my notes, there would be absolutely no way I would remember what I did even a few days ago. But for now I am going to start with the most recent first and then work backwards. We'll see how this goes...

Running in the Rain

2009-06-15T06:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I experienced one of the largest downpours of my life. It is right up there with the monsoon rain I saw in India. The difference this time? I was the idiot running home...without an umbrella...in the hellish storm.

I was in Shibuya finishing off a day of shopping and getting my haircut when it started to rain. At that point pretty much everyone had their umbrella. If they forgot to bring it, they were waiting in line to buy one. I had to think to myself, if I bought an umbrella everytime it rained and I forgot mine, I would have at least 5 already AND I've only been here a little over 2 months. Cheap umbrellas cost $5, but why waste the money?

I'll get a little wet, I told myself, but it's not bad. And I chanced it.

When I got to my home station, it was raining harder. And it was pouring by the time I finished grocery shopping on the way home. So I ran.

It was a total rainstorm and I was soaked. It could have been absolutely awful, but I couldn't help but laugh. Hardly anyone was crazy enough to be out, but I could only imagine what the people driving by must have been thinking of me. I ran through puddles on the sidewalk. I literally soaked it all in...the rain and the experience.

I cannot remember the last time I stood in the rain without worrying about keeping my hair dry and appearance looking acceptable. Too often we get so caught up trying to act our age. And in the end all we end up missing out on are the simple pleasures of life. What else are we living for if its not for enjoying every minute of it?

By the time I got home, my jeans and shirt were sticking to my body. I wish I could have wrung my clothes out before going in, but instead I was forced the drip all the way to my room. Got some weird stares from my dorm-mates, but I just smiled back.

Everything is more fun when you can go with the flow and you're not afraid of laughing at yourself. Turn that frown upside down!

Harajuku Kids

2009-06-13T03:59:00.000-07:00

One of the must do's for tourists is to to check out the Harajuku shopping and the anime kids there. At Harajuku, there is a constant presence of overdressed, heavily made-up, young Japanese. They are gazed upon by foreigners and the Japanese with a combination of amusement, misunderstanding, and distance. Their shock value alone is surprising.

One of my friends at Harajuku:

I myself have been quite judgmental towards them. I have tried to understand what would motivate anyone do dress up in the morning, knowing they will be stared at, kinda ostracized by society, and photographed by gaijin. It just always seemed so demeaning to me.

However I never really appreicated what they were doing, until I heard a couple of white women talking to each other in English. They were mentioning that even though the outfits are so far from the norm, every piece of the clothing, make up, and accessories are carefully thought out beforehand. Even their hairstyles must have taken hours, they said.

After I heard that, I have tried to understand the subculture more, instead of just shaking it off and laughing at it.

I was in Harajuku by myself last weekend. Its kinda funny, I'm one of those people that don't like eating by myself at restaurants, so I stopped off at Lotteria (a fast food chain like McDonalds). Apparently that place is like Harajuku kid central. They were applying bright make up for one another, laughing, talking, etc. It was like a community of (I hate to say it...but maybe) outcasts? There isn't really a nice way to put it. But they don't fit perfectly into society.

That was the first time I saw the human side to their seemingly crazy lifestyle. I had to think, what would I do if my kid was like that? Obviously I would learn to accept him/her as he/she was. Its not necessarily a normal way to live, by Japanese standards, but who's to say it is wrong?

I think Lotteria for the Harajuku kids is like what everyone is looking for in their own lives; somewhere to belong. Its seems as though it is all about find a place to call your own, somewhere you are accepted just the way you are. I guess in some way we look down at them because in many ways we are jealous. They see no reason to hide who they really are AND they found people who love them just the way they are.

I imagine they have accomplished more than I might ever. They have accepted themselves and not ashamed to portray themselves to the world. "Take it or leave it," they seem to tell us, "but this is who I really am."

Things of Beauty

2009-06-13T03:16:00.000-07:00

My friend keeps a collection of accounts he calls "Things of Beauty." I think is is just so appropriately entitled, I couldn't help to steal the name for this post. The beauty of life, things worth remembering, reminders of why we are living and how good we can make it. (Thanks for the inspiration Dylan, and sorry for copying...)

I was riding the train home one night last week and an Indian couple and their young daughter boarded at one stop. They wife was wearing a traditional sari and it was apparent that they were tourists and neither of them spoke Japanese. To my surprise, I have seen a lot of Indian tourists here. I can't help but to think how high up in Indian society they must be to be able to afford the high travel costs of Tokyo. Whenever I see foreigners here, especially from Asia, I am constantly worried for them because there is significant racism here in Japan.

One guy that lives in my dorm is British and has been applying to work various places here. He said when he was interviewing to be a bouncer, one of the questions they asked him was if he had any racism toward any specific groups. Apparently they were specifically looking for people who held some "undesirable" groups. They bluntly told him that they didn't want bouncers to let Indian men into the club, because they had a reputation for getting touchy when they drank. At that point he knew he wouldn't accept a job from them, even if they offered him one. This systematic stereotyping surprised me, but now I see it played out more frequently then you would expect.

I don't mean to say that foreigners are treated terribly. But there is a chance that you will be looked up on differently. Outsiders are easy to spot here.

The couple sat on one side of the train and their young daughter in a seat facing them. She had childhood innocence and looked out the widow with curiosity the whole way with no worries. Her parents looked more cautious though and had a guarded presence (that I totally wouldn't blame them for having).

Two old Japanese ladies sat nearby and were obviously taking notice of the young girl. But instead of being critical and judgemental, they were smiling when they pointed in the direction of the child. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but from their facial expressions it was easy to tell that it was positive and nothing threatening.

The parents seemed a little uneasy, but they relaxed when the older women smiled at them.

A few stops later, when the family exited the train, the older Japanese women told the Indian family "bye bye" in English, all the while smiling and waving to them.

I found it amazing. The two will probably never see each other again, but interaction their chance encounter enriched each of their commutes. Instances like this reaffirms my belief that there is a chance for world peace, as cheesy as it sounds. No matter how much fighting there is, there will always be the peacemakers. Racism is countered by love. Conflict fixed with mutual understanding. Our problems are solved one day at a time by small efforts of everyday people. If everyone just smiled instead of frowning, imagine how much prettier the world would seem.

Perhaps one of my favorite music videos ever. Please watch, it is definitely worth your time. (For some reason, it is cut off in the blog, but if you make it full screen it is ok.)

HAPPY!

2009-06-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

Lol, don't get me wrong on the post right before this. I am having a total blast! So much to update. I have really had a packed week, but I will try to get all caught up this weekend. But its 3:09 am and I am supposed to wake up in 4 hrs. FML

A Little Jaded

2009-06-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

As good as it can be, its never as good as you want it to be.

The last few days I have been I have been thinking about my disappointment in my Japanese. I've been here two and a half months, and I am still so incapable of communicating in Japanese it is embarrassing. When I first got here, I had no inhibitions. I would say whatever, speak to Japanese students the best as I could. But that seemed to go away quickly. Almost all of my close friends here are exchange students...sadly not so much Japanese people. That's not to say I don't have any, it just seems like I tend to hang out with foreigners more.

I am kinda jaded with Japanese, or at least my lack thereof. Its really sad for me to come to grips with my struggles with the language. I probably set my sights too high, but I still find myself in everyday situations unable to communicate or basically survive. I am so disappointed in myself. This has been one of the few clouds raining on my parade. Everyday I am reminded of how bad my Japanese is.

I have found, and have heard from others as well, how unforgiving Tokyo is compared to other areas of Japan. No doubt it is just part of the lifestyle and fast-paced nature of the city, but Tokyo is not really that English-friendly, or at least not as much as you would think it is. There are some exceptions, but from my experiences even when Tokyo people know that you don't have much of a grasp of the language, they don't make too much of an effort to slow their pace down. I really have not been too tough on Japanese people, but I feel like this is a legitimate critique of Tokyo culture. I suppose it is comparable to New York City (I'm not particularly fond of NYC). The Kansai area has more a reputation of being laid-back (lol having many of the comedians coming from that side) and I can totally see the difference.

I guess I have just been hard on myself lately because Jenna is here next week. I am meeting Reese's relatives in Yokohama next week and this was kinda the deadline I set for myself. I figured by this point I should have my confidence up to a point where I could communicate with Reese and Jenna's relatives competently or at least on some kind of basic level.

Unfortunately I have found myself moving in the other direction. Everyday I fail in Japanese on some level. Some days more than others, but the combined effects of inadequacy day after day have taken a toll on me. I have come to feel like I can't win in this language game. If I speak English, I can get my point across, but they probably won't understand, I'll look like a total gaijin, and I'll feel silly for using English in Japan, when I can speak a little Japanese. But at times it seems worse to me to try to speak Japanese, because the chances for me actually being able to communicate are so slim it borderlines a 10% rate if it can even be considered that high...

Perhaps the worst thing about it for me is that fact that Japanese confirms my identity as a gaijin. As much as I try to distance myself from foreigners, especially all the strange ones that are here, I really am no better than them. I can pass as Japanese until I open my mouth. I can look it, be full Japanese, have a Japanese surname, etc. but in the end it really doesn't count for anything. The language barrier and identity associated with it confirms that I don't belong here, both to me and to Japanese people.

I also have a really bad tendency to compare myself with others. I know in my head that it is not logical, but it always seems to happen anyway. A couple of my friends here (Travis and Val especially) are soo unbelievably good at Japanese it puts me to shame. I know I need to judge myself against myself, but it is hard for me to see myself struggling so much when others are absolutely exceeding all expectations. I have a combination of jealousy and envy for all the exchange students that seem to be doing so well here. Or at least everyone doing better than me. I'm happy for them, but just wish I was on the same level they are.

This is probably all just part of the burn out. But I really have let myself down on this. Its a cumulative failure. I wish I tried harder at Japanese in high school, college, and here. So many regrets are eating me up. How much better would I be? I never even spoke to Reese in Japanese before getting here because I was too embarrassed.

I know I just have to start from the ground up. Its just so hard. My confidence is shot right now...

Summer

2009-06-09T08:26:00.000-07:00

It really hasn't sunk in yet, it is already June. Actually it is June 10th...CRAZY!

I think I won't let myself believe it because I'm usually out of school about now. And I realize that I am barely halfway through the semester. It has gone so fast. If I didn't have this blog to reference, I really wouldn't know what I've done for the last two months. It's all been a blur.

The weather has been nice, but it's gonna get hot. So far the humidity has been bearable. I am sweating more than I would prefer though. Lol one of my friends was saying how Japanese people just don't sweat like we do. Haha, they always look put together while the foreigners seem to be melting.

I have a/c in my room and I ran it for the first time a couple of days ago. For some reason, all of the sudden it felt like summer to me...then I realized it was because my room was so cold with the a/c on full blast. The coldness factor I unconsciously associated with summers back in Ontario. When I lived at home, during the summertime my mom always ran the a/c so much that I would get cold. It seems as though I still link the two together. Pretty weird, lol but equally funny.

So in that sense, I got my first taste and realization that it is actually summer. Bring on the sun!

A Lesson in Dedication from a Boxing Studio

2009-06-09T04:56:00.000-07:00

I need to catch up my blog. I'll just start where I left off and hopefully get back on track.

Friday night I was waiting to catch the train home after dinner. It was nearly 11 pm. The Saikyo Sen platform at Shibuya (where I often find myself) faces directly across from a row of buildings, with a variety of shops, offices, etc on each floor. By that hour, all the lights were off and everyone had retired home for the night. Except for one unit. On the first level, slightly below eye level, a boxing gym was still open.

From what I could see, it looked small, no larger than an average American living room. The gym looked seemed slightly cramped for space, but was filled with a lively group of boxers, punching bags, and other essentials. The guys seemed to be training alone, wrapping their hands, working out, taking breaks.

I found it amazing that late on a Friday night, a group of probably 15 guys would find their way there. Instead of going out, they chose to hit the gym. And at nearly 11 pm, they were still there, or maybe just got there.

I wondered if I would find anything that I would be that passionate about.

Tests

2009-06-08T19:54:00.000-07:00

I literally just finished my finals and now I'm happy to take it easy until finals come around. For Japanese class, we had 3 days worth of testing, roughly amounting to a little over 5 hours of kanji, grammar, listening, reading, and speaking.

While I was in the middle of class today, I found it amazing how much the test meant to people. I myself got a late start studying and was up past 3 am and had to wake up at 8 today. Some of my friends back home have been cramming all weekend for their finals.

We have been taught that pieces of paper (aka tests) will determine our grades, thus our graduation (or not), leading to our potential careers, future, and ultimately happiness. I have always bought into this. But today I realized how a couple hours of our lives and a few pieces of paper can be so important to people.

Aside from the SAT and ACT, I haven't had to deal with much pressure around standardized testing, for which I am very thankful. While midterms, finals, etc seem so important, I couldn't help but to think about countries that have national college entrance exams, especially Asian ones.

In the fall, I watched a documentary on Chinese high school students that were taking the annual test. While waiting to take it, some students were hooked up to oxygen tanks, or reading over notes before they went in. Their parents (usually mothers) waited outside anxiously while they took it. Their futures were quite literally dependent on those precious hours.

One of my Japanese friends here works as a tutor at a cram school. Actually there are a lot of
Sophia students that I know doing stuff like that, teaching English, etc. Anyway, he said that most of the high school students he works at are trying to get into Sophia, Waseda, or a variety of other fairly high ranked colleges.

BUT he was quick to add that most of them probably won't get in. It is just too competitive and they just won't make the cut. Although I'm sure he has never told the students that, it was sad to hear it from him, their tutor, the one who is trying to help them get accepted. Yet he himself knows it is only an aspiration, not the reality.

If Tokyo Has Taught Me Anything...

2009-06-05T08:30:00.000-07:00

I have already realized what a difference Japan has had on my outlook on life and also personality/behavior changes.

I can admit it...I am a homebody. I don't know if I've always been like this, but at least the last couple of years I am reluctant to do things spur of the moment or sometimes even to go out. Sure if I'm on vacation or have a good excuse. But most of the time I am inclined to pass up on bars, etc.

But based on tonight and all the other random experiences I have had, I have learned:

Do all the things you want to do.
If you have the time and money...DO IT
Travel as much as you can.
DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!

Here is my not so new philosophy on life...

Not having the time is really a poor excuse for missing out. If anything, life is fleeting, so you need to suck every minute out of everyday. If you're too caught up in your life to have fun, you're not really living.

Money is earned, saved, and spent. There are reasons we make money and good reasons to spend it. Now I feel like there is no excuse to be cheap and miss out. All the money in the world cannot buy experiences, memories, or happiness.

Really, live life one day at a time. It doesn't matter if it is a weekday, or if you have a test coming up. There really is no worse thing then having regrets for opportunities that you pass up and will never have again.

Haha, I was just listening to a Lil Rob's "Summer Nights" song the other day. Even though I used to listen to the song a lot it was the first time I heard these lyrics. I am going to start to live by them now.

"Try to have fun in life, otherwise it's just a waste."

Oh the People You Will Meet

2009-06-05T07:42:00.000-07:00

You never know who you're gonna meet. This doesn't just apply to Japan either. Now I feel like if you are open and friendly, any stranger, any person on the street can end up becoming one of your good friends. Let my night illustrate this for you.

Met up with Travis and his friends at Fight Bar, where everything (drinks, food) is $3. I ate horse sashimi for the first time. It was good. I mean I'm not a food consiure and am not very good at explaining foods...but it didn't taste like beef for sure. Lol, it was really good. Had a drink but had to leave to meet some other friends.

I'm sad to admit that I almost didn't go out to meet my friends. It was one of those days. That's just a bad excuse. But I was debating whether or not to go out. In the end I kinda felt obligated, since I said I was going to...but again it was one of the better decisions I have made.

A guy from SU that is studying at Sophia has a friend, Ike, who is living and working in Tokyo at Goldsman Saks. I met him at a couple of things before and it was his birthday today. So he invited me to go out to dinner with a bunch of people and to a club after. I passed on the club, but dinner was totally worth it.

Everyone was friends with Ike, but no one really knew each other besides that. It was one of the most random, fun groups of people yet. Ike is really outgoing and will talk to anyone, so most of the people he just met on a whim.

One guy was a famous K-1 fighter from Nigeria (who speaks unbelievable Japanese), but the rest were Japanese. One of the girls there met him when she overheard Ike and Andy (the K-1 fighter) rating girls in a coffee shop. Lol she could understand English so I guess she kinda called them out, she is an announcer when there are events like at Softbank, etc. One of the guys there was a national beatbox champion, but during the day he is a train conductor. He always has a mic with him, in a pouch clipped onto his belt. The other girl is in a breakdancing group and met Ike when she was performing. She moves back and forth between San Diego. And the last guy works at the same place as Ike.

Almost the whole night was in Japanese. I was surprised. When its like that I tend not to talk, but my listening is getting really good. haha. Ike or Andy would speak in English to make sure I knew what was going on. Almost all the Japanese kids could understand and speak English as well.

We went to a really cute, traditional type of restaurant. It was a nicer one and everything was individual tatami mat styled with sliding rice paper doors and everything. Had a really good dinner: sashimi, two kinds of salads, karage chicken, special rice, horse sashimi (again, lol), and a bunch of other stuff. I was amazed because Andy knows not only where to go, but also what to order and pretty much took care of the food decisions for us.

Nights like this make me realize the possibilities. I almost stayed home and missed out. You'll never know who you'll meet or how much fun you have, just hafta do it. Put yourself out there. One of the guys is throwing a party at his place next weekend, so who knows I'll probably see these guys soon. It amazing the people you can meet. Not just in Tokyo either, really anywhere. Never pass up the opportunity to make new friends.

Eating Local: JA Okazuya in Hawaii

2009-06-04T07:11:00.000-07:00

Went to another lecture today. It was entitled "Eating Local: Nostalgia, Identities, and Japanese American Delicatessens in Hawaii" given by Christine R. Yano from the University of Hawaii Mano.

Lol, she thought I was from Hawaii. Actually a lot of people have said I look like I'm from Hawaii. Haha, I definitely take it as a compliment.

I found it very interesting, especially since I was in Hawaii last December. She drew some main conclusions from her anthropological study in okazuya establishments on Oahu and the Big Island in 2002:

1. Cater to urban, blue collared workers- they want to have a home-cooked meal for lunch, the ordinariness of the businesses
2. No ethnic boundaries placed around the food- cooked what would sell
3. Service and relationships built into what you get
4. Okazuya as sites of sociality- "flavor of the family"
5. Small and unfranchised- association with a sense of "home," trust

As she said during her talk, the food and knowledge of the sites sets locals apart. Their whole idea seems to contradict modern business logic. Most have a low-key presence, do not advertise, some do not even have signs. But as Yano argued, it is an emphasis on human relationships, not branding.

Yano explained that a lot of the stores are closing because there are not people to carry on the family business. In many instances they would rather have their children pursue other occupations. And when faced with selling the restaurant, they would rather just close it, as they see the business as a family matter. The hole-in-the-wall establishments are seen as a passing of a generation. They represent the plantation era of Hawaii, shared hardship, sense of interdependence, a representation of the poverty.

These types of businesses are anti-fast food fast food, contrasted with high end cuisine, and are anti-fusion, anti-gourmet.

Instead a relationship with the owner/worker/cook can be formed. It is a culinary relationship through consumption. They are associated with a sense of "home" and as she pointed out, some people go to their favorite spot straight from the airport.

The close relationship between the customers and owner/workers creates a "flex plate" where preferential treatment or extra portions are exchanged. Yano said that there is a emotional resonance that is part of their reality. These shops are interpreted as homestyle cooking, "grandma's food." They have associated memories. The ionic timelessness of the kitchen.

Yano made a distinction between "programed cheeriness" and actual relationships. I found this particularly interesting since I have worked at both franchised places (Starbucks, Jamba Juice) and a very small restaurant (lol where I was the only waitress and the owner was the only cook). She said that at these okazuyas there is not a manual that instructs people how to act (as there is at Starbucks and Jamba), that people legitimately have relationships with their customers.

I found that interesting, because although I can agree with the fact that they probably see the customers on more of a personal level, I can imagine that happening franchises as well. Or at least companies hope will happen within their stores. Starbucks for instance. I worked in the headquarter building, so as you can imagine, the regulars worked upstairs and were fiercely loyal. I knew names, everyone knew the regular's drinks. We would make small talk. Is that that much different than what the okazuya workers share with their customers?

It made me really think, because when I get back to Seattle I have worked it out so I am getting rehired at Starbucks. And if it is the case that I cannot really make those personal connections, I feel like I have been failing at my job all along.

I am so dying to go to Hawaii now...

IWAI!

2009-06-04T04:45:00.000-07:00

Burdened with midterms and school I almost didn't to go last weekend. Thank goodness I did though, because it turned out to be one of the best decisions I have made yet.

Each year the Watakate Circle (volunteer group) goes on a trip to Chiba, or more precisely a little beach town called Iwai. Iwai is an hour and a half from Chiba, 2 and a half hours from Sophia, and nearly 3 and a half from my station. The overnight trip is a welcome party of sorts for the freshman and new members to the club.

Last Saturday before we left, we all met in front of Sophia's north gate and at 10 o'clock in the morning had a toast. Its amazing how you can drink on the sidewalks like it is nothing. They brought suitcases of beer, flavored-alcohol (kinda like mike's), sake, sochu, and a variety of soft drinks, tea, etc. They offered everyone alcohol, but there was no pressure to drink it for the people who opted not to. I was just wondering if the police would say anything if they happened to see the freshman drinking.

The train ride was pretty long, but basically everyone was talking the whole way over. I kept thinking how different it was then it would have been in the US. I always imagine group roadtrips where everyone has their own iPod, book, or whatever, talking briefly every once in a while. It was completely opposite here. Whether it was one-on-one or in larger groups, the WHOLE trip everyone was interacting. No one pulled out homework, their music, or anything.

When we transfered at Chiba, we boarded one of the crappiest, oldest trains I have seen here yet. I guess they save all the nice, new trains for central Tokyo :) We just kept riding further and further out to the country.

I absolutely love the countryside in Japan. Normally I am a city girl, but I love the country here more. I like Tokyo, but the further out you get, the more you feel like you are actually in Japan. It is just gorgeous. The tiled roofs, rice patties, open spaces. The lifestyle even a few hours from Tokyo shifts considerably. It is always nice to get away.

Its been so long since the trip...but I'll try to recap the highlights.

Ryokan/Minshuku- I don't know exactly what the place we stayed at would be considered. I guess a minshuku, because we did like rent out all their facilities, two guest houses with a main dinning hall, and an ofuro. It was really old-fashioned. There was a genkan, tatami mats, futons, low tables and everything. Meals were also provided for us. They were very elaborate and soo good. Like five different plates of small portions of food for each person. I love Japanese styled breakfasts!

I found it interesting that when we first arrived, one of student coordinators officially introduced the woman who owned/ran the houses. She said a few words of thanks and together we said "yoroshiku onegaishimasu" (please take care of us). And when we left again the student leader had an official sayonara thank you for her with all of us there to show our apreciation. Apparently the group stays at this place every year, because the woman said "rai nen ni" (see you next year).

I was surprised how human aspect and relationship was brought in. I think that most college kids in the US don't put a face on the people behind the scenes, at hotels for example. We tend to not feel that bad, even if we leave the place trashed. However, here there is great respect shown for those people who would otherwise be overlooked back home. Even that night when we were drinking, if something spilled, the students would go to great lengths to clean it up as much as they could. Before we totally left, we swept up the main all and vacuumed.

BEACH- The area was absolutely gorgeous! There were a lot of hills around the beach and it was just totally green. It kinda seemed to have vegetation like Hawaii. Lol, with the hills, water, and greenery for some reason it always makes me think of the footage from Jurassic Park :)

The beach was only a 5 minute from the place we were staying. The weather was really crappy until the day we left. It was really overcast and cold. Not a good day to go swimming in the ocean. But everyone walked out and the guys were all swimming. I found it interesting how at different times all the girls were hanging out together and all the guys were doing something different. We were both on the same beach, it was just like the sexes were totally separated doing different things. Idk why that was. Interesting.

Later we were split into teams through jenken and played a version of dodgeball. I can't remember what it was called, but there was only one ball. We drew out a square in the sand. The catch was that there are people from the opposite team that are right outside the square on your side that can get you out. Someone brought a rope too. Lol so afterwards we did tug of war on the beach. Oh and buried two of the guys in the sand.

Freshman initiation- I am considered a freshman. With the hiearchy here, being at the bottom is not necessarily the best thing. Apparently every year the freshman perform a skit for the senpai. One of the guys wrote out a pretty involved script and we met and practiced 3 or 4 lunch periods before we left. I had one line in Japanese. I'm not even exactly sure what it was that I said...lol. Basically it was kinda a funny skit that was based off Cinderella, but had Pokemon in it?! Idk, I can't remember.

Before that though, while we were on the beach, we were each dragged out to the ocean carried in and dropped into the water. Haha. They were really nice about it, but it kinda seemed mandatory...I can now see how some hazing and initiation strengthens relationships. All of us freshman girls were drenched and freezing after.

Ofuro- I have heard a variety of reactions to the idea of essentially taking a bath with friends, or perhaps people you don't even know. Westerners tend to think that it is taboo. Most people, men and women, from the US especially, cannot imagine stripping down showering in front of people, then entering a communal bath. I think this is especially the case for foreign girls/young women.

I was hesitant at first too. It really wasn't a question of whether or not I would do it though. I felt like I had to. Plus after getting dunked in the ocean, all the girls were saying how good it feels to get in the ofuro after swimming. Like one of my friends always told me, nothing is awkward unless you make it awkward. Might as well.

It is crazy how differently people are socialized. For the Japanese girls, this sort of thing was totally normal. They had no inhibitions, talked the whole time they were cleaning, and even threw water on each other as a joke.

I am so glad I did do it though. Haha its like one of those things, you'll never get that much out of anything unless you're up for some risks. Willing to put yourself out there to be embarrassed, shocked, perhaps even humiliated. But you'll never know if you can fly unless you jump off the cliff. I can't help but thinking I want to go to an onsen now. I would love to have an ofuro in the comfort of my own home. Western modesty meets Japanese comforts, lol.

BBQ- The second day, before returning to Tokyo, the upperclassmen cooked a barbeque for us. It was one of the most delicious meals I have eaten yet. They had salad, yakisoba, and various grilled meats with vegetables. Absolutely unbelievable. Since it was supposed to be for the freshman, they wouldn't even let us help set up or clean up after.

Drinking- Of course, one of the main parts of the trip was drinking that night. It started off with the results of a survey within the circle that some of the underclassmen had done earlier. It's kinda like the "most likely to..." that you would find in high school year books. Instead it was like who is the best embodiment of ______. Categories ranged from most otaku, best father/mother, person who seems like they are a child, person who seems older than their age, most like a cat, person who can drink the most/who can drink the least, silly categories like that. Everyone was laughing the whole time and the person who got the most votes had to go in front of everyone and drink a cup. Usually it was alcohol, but they could drink tea or something else if they preferred.

The fridge in the room was totally packed with all the alcohol. I found it funny how drinking customs applied to the college students too. Before filling their own glasses, they would always ask people around them what they wanted to drink. It wasn't till after that they would refill their own glass. Everyone was talking, sitting around, and drinking for most of the night.

I went to sleep at 2:30 am, but I heard people were up all night. Some people fell asleep after we ate breakfast. One of the girls said that the older people got, the longer they were kinda expected to stay up. Her freshman year she went to sleep at 1 am, last year was up till 4 and this year stayed up all night. People were sleeping everywhere and some were even passed out the whole day and missed the bbq. Haha, one upperclassman got up and his face and feet were totally drawn on. Somehow, before we left, he got most all of the ink off, except from his neck. It was the most I have ever seen anyone marked up!

Japanese- Only four exchange students (including myself) went on the trip. All together there are only 6 of us in the circle. So pretty much everything is always in Japanese. There are a few members who can speak English fluently and others who can speak a little bit. But nearly the whole weekend was Japanese exclusive.

It really is the best practice. My Japanese isn't that great still. But after the weekend, I could see substantial improvements. It is crazy how when you are exposed to it for a long period of time, like 2 days straight, you will get used to it. I couldn't understand everything, or even most of what was said. But you can catch onto popular phrases, pronunciation, even start thinking to yourself "how do I say this in Japanese." It comes more naturally when you need to use it, when you are practicing, even when you are messing up.

I am so lucky they were so patient. It seems like that is the kind of people they are. But I did feel bad for the people who had to hear me stumble along. One girl specifically (nicknamed Sam) talked with me the whole way to Iwai. Just me and her. It was painful for me imagine her listening to my bad Japanese. But she would help me out with grammar when it needed to be fixed, feed me words i didn't know. It was the best practice I've had yet.

Meeting People- The nicest part of the whole experience was getting the chance to meet the students who I don't otherwise know outside from our Saturday activities. While we are working with the kids at Meguro, it is hard to really get to know each person individually. These have to seriously be some of the nicest people I have met in my life. I really do not know many people who willingly dedicate every Saturday throughout the school year to a cause like this. There are a good number of seniors and they have been doing this for years. It really amazes me.

All the club members are so nice. Even through the language barrier, they always made a conscious effort to include me and the other exchange students. On the train rides, I never sat alone. There was always someone to talk to. They were always so happy, so encouraging. Lol their efforts make me want to be a better person. It is amazing how a group like this will just totally change your whole outlook. There is no way you can loose faith in people or humanity when you meet people like this.

Senpai-Kohai- Before the trip, I never really understood or accepted the senpai-kohai relationship. It seemed so unfair. I always thought the upperclassmen resented me, or at least didn't like me, because I always forgot to speak keego to them. But this weekend changed my whole perspective on it.

Senpai always seemed like the people who delegate tasks because they don't want to do it themselves. This not totally the case. They are more or less like leaders, guiders. They have the experience and have earned the respect of the kohai through all the years of their work and dedication. The kohai recognize that they can learn from the senpai. In some ways it becomes somewhat of an apprenticeship. They try to learn as much as they can from their superior, someone that's assumed to have more knowledge of the subject.

The kohai do what is asked of them. And in turn the senpai take the kohai under their wings. In some ways they are watched after by the senpai. It is almost like a big brother role. While we were waiting for our train back home, Sam bought an ice cream for me. Her excuse? I am your senpai. I saw other upperclassmen buying for other freshman too. In a way we are taken care of by the people above us. And thus they earn our respect.

I have noticed that senpai tend to associate more closely with other senpai. And kohai stick with kohai. I don't know exactly why this occurs, but I imagine it has something to do with people they can most closely relate to. Shared experiences. Something like that.

Loquat- Its funny, I didn't know what this was called in English until this very moment when I looked it up. Here it is know as "biwa." Apparently it is grown in Iwai and I bought a bag of them at a fruit stand near the Iwai train station. A really yummy fruit. Hard to explain though, very tender inside, it doesn't have a strong flavor, but it is sweet. Well, kinda. In some ways it has somewhat of an apple flavor, but then again not.

I bought them so I could bring back a piece of my weekend for my friends in Tokyo. What a great way to spend a couple of days.

(I apologize, these are not my pictures! I still have yet to buy a cord to connect my camera to my computer and my phone died so I could not take pictures with it. For now these images will have to do. I'll work on getting more pictures up later!)

Midterms...

2009-06-03T02:32:00.000-07:00

I was in Iwai last weekend and haven't had a chance to post about it yet. But right now Sophia is in the midst of midterms. Japanese has been brutal. The Japanese midterm starts tomorrow and there are 3 days worth of testing, all together about 5 hours worth of speaking, listening, reading, grammar, and kanji. I've never had a final or midterm stretched out over such a long period of time.

Pretty much everyone is getting burnt out in my intensive Japanese class. Since we have the midterm tomorrow, only half the students even bothered to show up today. Yesterday we did some pointless review games. Two girls even cried in class. The prof we had yesterday isn't necessarily mean, but she isn't sensitive either. We were giving directions and doing it individually. If we messed up the prof would call us out, "no that's wrong," but didn't follow up with an explanation. It was very embarrassing and kinda kills your self esteem.

Haha, I was telling one of my friends yesterday that I swear my Japanese gets worse when I'm in Japanese class. Two people that sit directly behind me are from Chicago. So with their nasally accents, their a's are always stretched out and emphasized. It makes for strange pronunciations when they speak Japanese. Two guys that sit near me cannot distinguish Japanese r sounds either. So everything ends up coming out "raw, row." You'll know what I'm talking about if you've taken Japanese. But just imagine it is the difference between the pronunciations of l's and r's.

There is just an utter lack of creativity in the way the class is taught and tested. Everything we do is verbatim, word for word, right out of our textbooks. No doubt, this is going to be one of the hardest classes ever to stay motivated in. And here we are only at midterms...

I am so jealous though, because all my Japanese friends at Sophia don't have midterms at all. And other exchange student friends at Aoyama haven't really had major testing at all either. Lol, I am going to the wrong school and am enrolled in the wrong classes!

Exactly Midway Point (Yesterday)

2009-05-29T07:24:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it is halfway over already. Exactly 9 weeks and 3 days left. It is going sooo fast!

I feel like there is so much I still want to do...I can't even start to make a list, but speaking more Japanese is definitely on it. I feel like that is what I am doing the worst in right now. After I get finished with the bulk of my midterms next Thursday, I promised myself I would go shopping and start dressing more Tokyoish. Lol, I only have 2 months left after all!

Japan's Internet Suicide Groups

2009-05-29T06:40:00.000-07:00

There was a lecture at Sophia that I attended tonight. "In the Eyes of Others: Self, Society, and Suicide in Japan" given by Chikako Ozawa-de Silva of Emory Univeristy. I probably don't have to point it out, but it was a pretty dark, depressing talk...

Through her research and ethnography of Japan's internet suicide groups she came to three main conclusions:
1. Ordinariness
2. Wish to die in comfort
3. Wish to die with others

Japan has one of the highest suicide rates in the developed world. But Silva argued that group suicides are different because of the three reasons mentioned above. Annually there are about 32,000 suicides nationwide, but only 100 or so of them are group suicides, so they only constitute a fraction of the overall picture. But it was a place to start researching.

We saw clips from two contemporary movies on this. In "Suicide Club" (I forgot the Japanese name), it documents different group suicides. In the small clip that we saw, Shinjuku train station footage was showed, A huge group of girls were waiting for a train, among other people. I was trying to identify who was going to try to kill themself. It was so haunting though, because the group of girls, who you would otherwise suspect were just coming home from school or something, were actually a suicidal group. They looked happy and were chatting among themselves. But as the train approached, they became silent, held hand (like 20+ of them!), and jumped off the platform. All girls, probably no older than high school aged. The creepiest video footage I have ever seen...seriously....

The other was from an animated series that was entitled "Paranoia Agent." Apparently it aired 8 episodes from February-Marc 2004. It is disturbing in the sense that it is a really light movie, it isn't dark at all. In fact it makes suicide look normal. The series follows an old man, a middle aged man, and sadly a really young girl as they search for a way to end their lives together. It was sad how young the girl seemed and the fact that she seemed normal and happy, but didn't want to live anymore. It took the idea of suicide and their search of different methods so lightly it was creepy.

Probably the saddest point of this all is the fact that these people meet up because of the importance that cultural factors play in the desire of people to kill themselves together. Since Japanese society is very collective, an importance is placed on the self in realation to others. The self that people believe they have is living through the eyes of others. There is a need to share their world with a group of people and others. Their "mother of all fears" is social rejection, to be left out.

So in conforming to the norm, even in their last attempt to end their lives, some Japanese people feel the need of others. A need to be needed by others, in order to give their lives a sense of meaning. Collective suicide is essentially a shared experiance.

It was an equally insightful and depressing event. Definitely a downer on my Friday night. I can't help but to think how sad this is. Silvia read posts that she found on suicide sites. It is troubling because most of the participants are young and they aren't desperate like suicidal people are usually portrayed. They just seem lost or confused. Like one of the people posted, "I don't want to die, I just don't want to live."

After the event I was walking to the train station alone, I am so paranoid of witnessing a train suicide now...

I was just reading the plot of the Suicide Club movie and it creeps the hell out of me. That is exactly the kind of stuff that gives me nightmares...

Oh NO!

2009-05-29T06:10:00.000-07:00

I woke up disoriented this morning. My light was still on from last night. I was hot because I was still wearing my jeans and shirt from the day before. I had no idea what time I fell asleep (sometime between 11:45 pm and 1:30 am) or what time it was. My eyes were dried up from wearing my contacts and I felt gross from not taking a shower like I planned to.

Lol I 21 pages into reading a book for class. My plan was to read to the end of the chapter, then take a shower to wake up and finish studying for my midterm.

Instead I heard the church bells ringing signaling it was 8:20…sh*t! I was already late. I had to have left 5 minutes ago in order to catch my 8:22 to get to class in time…I HATE THIS FEELING!

I can’t help but think it’s been forever since I fell asleep studying. I definitely don’t miss waking up like this…I couldn’t afford to miss any more Japanese classes, so I threw on a new pair of clothes and ran to the station. I was 20 minutes late to class. How embarrassing. At least I can say I made it.

Shopaholic

2009-05-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

Somehow I haven't gone shopping since I had the crisis where I couldn't get money out of the ATM. I haven't spent more than $15 on myself since then. Crazy! And since Jenna (Reese's sister) is coming in 3 weeks, Maylee (Seattle friend) will be visiting, and Grant (little brother) will be here in July, I am waiting so I can actually go shopping guilt-free when they get here.

I must say that Shibuya 109 is my favorite mall ever! The stuff there isn't cheap like Harajuku, but I always feel like clothes are worth the investment.

My Favorite Stores!

1. Samantha Thavasa- Despite the name, this is actually a company started and established in Japan. They basically sell bags and really cute purses! Girly, yes. They are considered a half-step down from LV and Coach here, but designer nonetheless.

2. Peach John- Japan's version of Victoria Secret's Pink, except the whole store is devoted to young women. It is very mainstream and they have ads and billboards everywhere.

3. Cecil McBee- My ABSOLUTE favorite store! They always sell cute dresses and shirts. Totally dressed-up Tokyo fashion. Their stuff just looks Japanese to me. Lol.

FML

2009-05-26T06:25:00.001-07:00

I am so burnt out right now. I feel like I am cramming for finals, but school is not even close to being finished...This is what I get for slacking off the last two weeks I guess. No doubt that the next couple of weeks are gonna be hell.

I am sooo close to finishing up my senior synth class. It wouldn't be too bad, but SU's quarter ends the same time we have midterms here at Sophia. In other words, I am hit with a lot of major stuff all at the same time.

I haven't slept much for a week, actually I've got less than 6 hrs per night for since last Monday, so exactly a week. Lol, I couldn't will myself to get up today, so I missed Japanese and got 11 hours of sleep last night. I imagine that will be my only break till June 9th when I finish up midterms.

Just finished writing a 10 page paper that will count for the "attendance and participation" part of my grade in that independent study senior synth class.

Now I have 3 midterms looming over my head and my senior synth "social responsibility" project worth 40% of my grade. Thank goodness for Reese, because he is basically putting together the website for my senior synth!

Midterms start Friday for me. Have my "Culture and Identity" midterm that day and a 4 page essay question. This weekend I am going with Wakatake (volunteer group) to Chiba for an overnight trip. After getting all the work, I was debating whether or not to skip out. I could definitely use the two days to get stuff done. But if at all possible I am planning on going. And because of that, next week will be quite ridiculous.

Monday for Japanese have a two chapter grammar test and "role-play" test and take home kanji test. THEN all on Thursday my senior synth project is due, have to turn in Ethnography of Japan's midterm 10 page paper, and have the listening and interview part of my Japanese midterm.

One step at a time. I cannot wait until summer actually starts. I am so jealous of the people who are already on vacation...

Weekend Recap

2009-05-25T07:21:00.000-07:00

Friday: The Hub with Jocelyn and Kim. Jocelyn and I got there early. Actually too early, as soon as we entered we were told to come back at 5. Right at 5, we opened the bar. Lol. I felt pretty ridiculous. Had J-sized drinks for $2.60-3.10. Right before happy hour was over we waited in line again and ended up having a total of 6 drinks on our table. After went to 3 Coins bar? It was their 6th year anniversary, so the small bar had a dj playing music there. All drinks/food $3. The cooks in the back were smoking as they cooked...A LOT of gaijin there. Idk why. Lots of white middle-aged guys too. For some reason, older white gaijin guys here tend to creep me out.

Saturday: Went to Meguro with Wakatake again today. Played/worked with a guy that was 20 years old. My age. What a huge reality check I get everytime I go there...His mom was so nice and made us homemade onigiris to eat for lunch. He would smile every once in a while and it gave me an overwhelming sense of happiness. He would say things like "ii na", "jouzu ne", and could say "itadakimasu." He could also feed himself, but the pieces had to be cut into unbelievably small sizes and put in his dish one at a time. He could use hashi that were connected (like the version for kids when they are just learning), but if he wasn't watched he would use his hand to scoop it up.

Really realized the senpai kohai dynamics today too. As an "underclassman" another frosh girl and I were obviously given the crap jobs. I resented it at first. It seemed like a personal attack on me. But I just had to keep reminding myself that it was a natural division for people here. It is not something that I am used to. And definitely not something I like or fully comprehend.

Left early to go to church at Tsukiji's English service, but couldn't remember if it was this week or next week and didn't want to risk riding an hour to find out.

Sunday: Went to Sugamo with Travis, Bea, and Clem. It's known as the "grandmas Harajuku" and no doubt the name was properly give. Almost everyone shopping there was over the age of 65. With stores completely filled with grandma print linens, canes, and their famous red grannie panties, it was understandable why almost everyone that got off my train at that stop was old. A lot of street food though, omiyage places, traditional and specialty foods.

The Nail that Sticks Up Gets Hammered Down

2009-05-25T06:39:00.000-07:00

As much as I know Japan is a democracy, at times it seems like it is a hybrid of a free, yet tightly controlled society.

No doubt there are people who stick out here. The overly dressed anime girls at Harajuku, an eclectic collection of people who reject the suits and opt for non-traditional jobs, grandmas with dyed hair. But the great majority of people conform. Men of all ages leave nearly at the same time in the mornings dressed for work. Housemoms are always seen getting their kids ready for school and seeing them out the door.

A little room is given for alternatives. There seems to be slight deviation from the norm that is acceptable. But Japanese people tend to stay within the safe limits of what is expected from them. I have not fully identified what that line is, but there are consequences if they overstep the boundaries.

Sunday I went to Sugamo. While I was waiting for Travis and a couple other friends I noticed a guy sitting on the ground right near the entrance to the station. He was wearing a mask that totally covered his head and looked like a rock. It was basically some kind of Halloween mask and had eye holes. The entire time I was waiting he just sat there cross-legged on the ground holding a sign, unfortunately I could not read the kanji. He got curious looks from the grandmas and grandpas walking by. People would stare as they left or entered the station. He waved at kids, but otherwise was totally still and silent.

It couldn't have been 10 minutes before a police officer came over to speak to him. I wasn't close enough to hear what he said, but essentially the college-aged guy had to move outside the station.

I couldn't help but be surprised. I've seen stuff like this happen. Japanese people will tolerate a little deviation from the norm, but when it seems to be too much police immediately step in. There is an overwhelming police presence here. Since crime is so low and Japanese people tend to behave themselves, I feel like there isn't much that the police do besides give directions and control petty things like the guys sitting there with a mask on.

The police are nice, but persistent. They will tell you in the nicest way possible to stop. Dame means no and no questions are asked. When they illustrate it, bringing out the two-fingered x, it is pretty clear. I feel like there are too many police here for the society's own good.

It seems as though the society is so structured it is confining. Kim and her boyfriend Landon missed their bus coming back to Tokyo from Kyoto during Golden Week. With no housing arrangements, they had to stay overnight at the station. Apparently there are only certain places that people are allowed to stay in the station. Ultimately all the people sleeping there were confined to one little area. It seemed interesting. They were free to go anywhere else if they weren't sleeping.

It seems as though the Japanese people are used to this system though. Naturally they don't tend to stand up to authority, they don't question whether or not it is a violation of their freedom of speech. There is a curious balance of self-control, obedience, shame, guaranteed rights, and individualism at work here.

SEP: Worth Watching!

2009-05-24T08:17:00.000-07:00

We were at Shibuya Friday night and saw a group performing on one of the busiest corners. Missed most of it, but they have a video online. They're called Session Entertainment Project. The video is pretty long, but if anything start watching halfway thru, that's when they start doing a lot of the solo dancing. Its pretty amazing. The beginning is a little slow, but I promise its worth your time.

Thunderstorm

2009-05-24T06:09:00.000-07:00

Right now I am sitting in my room as rain is pouring down outside. There is periodic lighting and thunder. I really cannot remember the last time I experienced a thunderstorm. Although it rains a lot in Seattle, there never seems to be lightning and thunder, or at least that I remember.

More than anything it reminds me when I used to live at home and on the rare occasions that it did rain in Ontario, my whole family would go outside to sit on our bus stop and listen to the rain. I really don't know why I think of that right away. But I wish I could open my window to hear it better. (My window doesn't have a screen though, and I am still itchy from the last mosquito bites that I got the last time I left it open.) I love listening to the rain. Somehow it is almost meditative,

Realizations

2009-05-24T05:37:00.000-07:00

It seems like it has been forever since I posted. In the four days since my last one, I have had a few significant realizations:

1. I am screwed!: I think it is safe for me to say that I have not had more than 5 hours of sleep for the last 4 nights. Its not like I'm terribly busy, a lot of stuff is just coming down now, and I'm not wiling to make any sacrifices in my social life. So I am still waiting to get a decent night of sleep. I am starting to worry a lot more about my senior synthesis project. I can't believe SU will be finished in two weeks! My synth is due in 11 days. And I totally forgot until a few days ago that I also need to write up a 10 page paper to turn in for my attendance and participation part of my grade...I'm gonna be busy till June 4th.

2. Food/drinks are not as special if you have them everyday: Haha its another one of those genius things I have come to terms with. I have been eating a lot of stuff here that I would never let myself buy on a regular basis under normal circumstances. But since I am in Japan, I figure what the hell. It is a problem if you buy desserts or sugar drinks everyday though. And that is what I have had a tendency to do. It just doesn't taste as good if you are used to having it constantly. I've gone through this with milk tea, chocolate, ice cream. I finally learned...

3. School is not everything, its not even the most important thing: My mom always says, "School is your job." With that in mind I have always taken education very seriously. I have stayed on top of my work. There is so much more than classes though. And I feel like until now I have always missed out a little bit on the rest of it. For the duration of college (minus two quarters) I took 20 credits, overloaded my schedule with an extra class. Even in high school, I was enrolled in courses at the community college each quarter during my senior year. This is one of the few times I have really relaxed and just enjoyed it. I'm pretty much out all weekend now. Go out to drink with my friends Friday, volunteer Saturday, and travel and explore Sunday. It has been really nice. Wish I went out of my way before to do stuff like this.

4. I WON'T be able to do everything: This has been hard for me to accept. There are always things happening, places I want to go, things I want to do. Realistically I won't be able to totally fulfill everything that I want to do. I always feel like if I choose to do one thing, I'll be missing out on something else. I really want to travel to Kyoto, Okinawa, and Korea too. But being rational, I don't have the time or money to afford to do all of that. I think this is kinda the beauty of traveling though. There is no way to go everywhere or do everything, so you always feel the need to go back and the list of places you want to go and things you want to do is always expanding.

華道部 Kadobu

2009-05-20T04:44:00.000-07:00

So stoked, I finally joined the "kadobu" (flower arranging group)! Of all of the clubs/circles, this is the one I wanted to get involved in the most. I couldn't get in touch with the group, but one of the girls in our dorm told me where and when they meet, so I went today.

Kadobu is not to be mistaken with ikebana. Its confusing, but flowers are not put in a vase and it seems as though kadobu uses more of a range of "nature type things." So in their arrangements sticks, leaves, stuff like that complement the flowers.

There were ten of us for the lesson today. Apparently a kadobu teacher comes in every week. She gave instructions entirely in Japanese, but would come over to us individually to help us out with our arrangement. With my elementary Japanese I was able to get by. And somehow I could speak the best of the three exchange students that were there. So lol, they would try to have me translate. Ya, didn't work so well. Haha.

*my creation*

Its amazing how different arrangement can turn out, even when you have exactly the same flowers, same instruction, and everything. Mine ended up looking pretty cluttered. But some of the girls who had been doing it for years looked really good. Even a guy from Europe who has been doing it since last year took it really seriously and fixed his branches for the entire hour and a half.

It was about triangles today. The flowers were positioned in three different heights and in somewhat of a triangle. The longer branches the same. But the two triangles (flower and branch triangles) interestected and thus balanced the whole thing out.

My finished work looks really cluttered...lol I'll try harder next time :)

We got finished around 6:45 pm. And I rode a crowded train home, doing the best I could to not get my flowers smashed. It was an unbelievable break from school and the test I have tomorrow. I love flowers and I am so happy to join kadobu :)

The Thing About Washing Clothes...

2009-05-19T08:33:00.000-07:00

I am going to be soo happy to have a dryer when I get back! There's one in the dorm, but no one really uses it. Actually it seems like most Japanese people air dry stuff whenever they can. Its not too bad, but it doesn't work well with my laundry habits.

I tend to save my laundry up until it is absolutely necessary for me to do it (aka run out of underwear or jeans)...this system has been working for me for the last 2 years in the US. In an hour and a half and $1.75 later, my clothes were clean, dry, and ready to fold. Here it is a different story. It costs me $2 just to wash my clothes and a good chunk of time to find places to hang each piece to dry afterward. Today I nearly forgot my laundry in the washing machine. That would have been a disaster.

I do not nearly have enough hangers for the two weeks worth of wet laundry, so I have shirts and pants hanging off nearly ever surface in my room. Occasionally I forget to consider the drying time and end up using my hair dryer to get the moisture off a pair of underwear or something that I need to wear the next day. At that point I feel pretty stupid, lol.

I hate having the feeling that you need to break your clothes in after they have sat out to dry. Jean especially get really stiff. I cannot wait to have a drying machine when I get back home.

**********

Was just talking to Jocelyn today about this. Lol apparently washing machines are an "American thing?!" She lived in Australia and London and said that both places primarily air dry clothes? Didn't know that...haha she said that drying is really bad for the environment. The US is really not as green as we like to think it is.

Swine Flu

2009-05-19T02:23:00.000-07:00

The swine flu has infiltrated Japan. It was bound to happen, but of course no one really wanted to finally hear the news. So far the cases have been limited to Japanese high school students in the Kobe area I believe. Maybe Osaka too. Or that's what I've heard.

Everyone also knows that it is inevitable Tokyo will be struck sooner or later. The government takes public health issues VERY VERY seriously. I have heard rumors that when a pig flu case is reported in Tokyo, all the colleges and schools will shut down. It is very likely that they will also suspend public transportation like the trains, buses, and subways as well.

So far Sophia has been very vague with details, but profs have been saying that schools will probably be closed for a week or more. AND that there's a good possibility that we'll hafta make the time up. Finally got an email today from Sophia listing precautions we should take and most importantly "not to panic" lol.

Although I know a lot of people who are looking forward to having a week off of school, I can see this causing a lot of problems. One of my friend's brothers was going to come to Japan next month, but facing a potential quarantine, he may not even attempt to come. I have various friends and family who will be coming to Japan later too, so I really hope that this won't be a problem for them.

And this may seem trivial, but I don't want to have to change my plane ticket home. The last thing I want to do at the end of the trip is pay a fee so I can stay longer and make up lost class time. Yes I am cheap and yes I still want to fly out August 2.

Surprisingly enough I haven't noticed a surge of people wearing face masks or anything like that though. Jocelyn's host mom is insisting that she wear one on the train (although she probably won't). If there is some miracle by which Tokyo can avoid the swine flu, I would be a very happy.

Classes

2009-05-18T05:26:00.000-07:00

Although I really go through hot and cold phases with Japanese class, I really have loved my two anthro classses. I think anthro is so relevant and interesting. Of course, no chance for a job after college, but an interesting field none the less. Just thought I'd give a short update with school progress and such.

Japanese- Three hours of grammar, kanji, and conversation patters each day is pretty exhausting. I always feel really bad for the prof that comes in second period. Lol the whole class has already sat through and hour and a half of Japanese and gets pretty restless even before the second half starts. Its really hard to focus for that long, BUT I've gotten a lot more used to it than I ever thought I could. I have already learned all the grammar that we have gone over so far, thankfully! I have no idea how other people are keeping up with the speed we're going at. Everything we learn has UNBELIEVABLE relevance though.

Culture and Identity- Such an interesting course to be taught at our university. Considering that most of the students at Sophia come from non-traditional backgrounds (like were educated overseas, travel abroad frequently, are an exchange student, or whatever) this is so thought provoking. We have read a wide range of articles most recently on Japanese fashion designers, the commodification of African culture and African tourism industry. The discussions are so interesting because there are people from all over the world, with various experiences, from various cultures. So interesting.

Ethnography of Japan- The prof is really the one that makes this class great. Although he is American, he has been in the country over 20 years and really knows so much about the culture and contemporary issues. He always is very animated and shares personal examples all the time. We are currently reading Ruth Benedict's book "The Chysanthamum and the Sword" that was written in the WWII period. Talked about gimu and giri (obligations to people who made you who you are and to associates). Went over the significance of gift giving as part of it as well. I feel like I can understand my family more now or at least why they are so concerned with paying for the bill at restaurants and reciprocating. This is probably the least structured class I have ever had. But suprisingly I have been fine with it. Today our prof told us to read chapters 8, 9, 10, and 13 for next class. Everyone groaned. He was like "You guys are all babies! Ok read 8 and 9." The whole class cheered. It was so funny!

I Hate Group Projects!

2009-05-18T03:24:00.000-07:00

It is only 7:30 pm and I am exhausted. I realized I forgot to write a Japanese composition last night at 1:30 am, so I didn't get to sleep until nearly 3. It wouldn't be too bad under normal circumstances, but I have a lot of stuff to do this week, early class every morning. I need the sleep, but I also need to get this work done. It is a hard balance.

In the hour and a half I was studying, I also wrote a skit in Japanese. We have "role play tests" periodically and the next one is coming up Thursday. I have a partner and two skits to write and memorize. We split it up so we each did one.

I wrote mine last night, typed it up in Japanese, and printed copies this morning. I gave one copy to my partner and was going to have our prof check the other one.

During the break between the two Japanese classes my partner approached me. We had both written scripts for the same skit. We each thought that the one we wrote it for was our own. He/she was like, "Well...why don't you write YOUR skit (implying I was the only one who didn't know what was going on)." I was pretty shocked and had to have said alright in a really ticked off tone.

Not trying to be bitchy, but I need to get this one down. I've been pretty salty since this morning. He/she left no room for compromise. I really don't mind doing my part, but I feel like we were both at fault in this situation. If it was me and I noticed first, I think I would have first at least offered to write it or at least help out (no matter how much I didn't want to have to do it)...ARRR. I think the problem with working with anyone is that you never know what to expect from them. And I was definitely not expecting this...

Total BS. I looked at what he/she had for the skit. His/hers was handwritten, on the back of a piece of scratch paper, and really just looked thrown together. REALLY?! If anything we should have gone with mine. I hate spending time on stuff like this and having to redo it for no reason.

Just an angry side note. Sorry for ranting.

Inspiration On a Shirt

2009-05-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

Bought my brother a shirt today. I won't totally give it away, but i loved the quotes on it.

Conquer Yourself, Conquer the World Later

Be a first rate version of yourself
Not a second rate versiosn of someone else

Trust Yourself!!
Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life

What Do You Think? (Really Please Respond!)

2009-05-17T07:53:00.000-07:00

This discussion board post really made me mad!

Idk just wanted to see if it just struck my nerve, or if it seems totally ignorant to others as well.

We are looking at illegal immigrantion in my Culture and Identity anthro class. Just watched a movie entitled "Dirty Pretty Things" on Friday. It is definately not a feel-good movie, but I think it is pretty realistic in the way that it portrays the lives of illegal immigrants. And it is actually a movie, lol not a documentary or anything like that.

Our prof had us respond to it on a class discussion forum. AND I just read this post (postee will remain anonymous):

"I think immigration has been a problem for some time now. People from poor countries are immigrating to "rich"countries in huge numbers and that turns into a big problem as they cannot all find proper jobs and live a normal lifestyle. They are often forced to do dirty works and end up needing to become criminal and steal from others.

I think that "rich" countries should not be obliged to receive immigrants to a certain extend as each country should take care of its own problems before it takes on the problems of others.

I think there are different types of immigrants and that decides how they are accepted. Some really want to do proper jobs and live a good life, learn the host countries language and get used to the customs while others are lazy , do wrong jobs and live in clusters with other people from their country and not accepting the host countries customs and language. The first type is of cause welcomed by the host country while the second is not very pleasant and can become a problem.

Countries can of cause benefit from immigrants. Other countries food, culture and customs are always interesting and can be learned from.

Immigrants face a lot of obstacles, some are unfair but then what in life is fair?"

Idk but that just made me very angry! Maybe I was just raised differently, or it might be because I grew up in a farm community where I actually saw the houses of illegal immigrants, knew what hard lives they had, or whatever. But hearing something like this from someone who is in college and is close to entering the real world scares me. He/she could be the next president, CEO, or whatever in their country. Sometimes I wonder what the world will look like in a few years when our generation is running everything.

So this was my response:

"I think it is unfair that you say that illegal immigrants "often...end up needing to become criminals and steal from others." I feel like that is EXACTLY how immigrants have been stereotyped and portrayed, but actually I do not think that is often the case. I believe that is totally unfair to the immigrant group as a whole. Although it may sometimes occur, it is wrong to think that they are just criminals and the low lives of society.

I also find it interesting that you consider immigrants that live in clusters with people from their own country a negative attribute. I think you have to understand where these people are coming from. They are brand new to the country and sometimes know nothing more than their native language. It is hard to adapt to a new culture and learn a new language, much less try to accept the fact that they will be living in a totally different society and country they may know little about. To consider these people "not very pleasant" and "problems" is ignorant. We as educated people need to try to understand them and their situations before we start classifying and judging them."

REALLY let me know what you think.

Having Too Much Fun: No Time for HW!

2009-05-17T07:13:00.000-07:00

Its 11:15 pm and I just got home. And I have yet to seriously look at the homework I have for Monday! OMG weekends go way too fast!

I let myself sleep in today and nearly slept 12 hours last night. It seems like the only time I have to catch up on sleep is on the weekends, yet I hardly can let myself waste the time. There are so many other things that I want to be doing besides sleeping!

I feel bad because I turned down two invites this weekend alone. One last night to go to yakitori and a bar and today to go shopping and out to dinner. Two different friends. Two people let down. I'M SORRY! But I was planning to meet up with Travis today to go to Asakusa again.

Just a few hours after I woke up, I left my dorm to meet him at Shibuya. It was really sad because we got there right as a parade was ending on one of the main streets. Neither of us knew about it. But lol, we got there in time to hear "ありがとうございます！” (thank you for coming) and see everyone who was dressed up in hapi coats. I think it was called hanamatsuri or something like that. Poor Travis was VERY bummed!

While we were walking around, we looked at a few different stores. It is amazing how even the side streets are busy. I love Shibuya, there are just a ton of clothes everywhere. It is great.

After went to Yoyogi park where they were having a "Thai Festival." Basically tons of people, tents selling Thai merch, Thai food, Thai fruits and veggies. Lots of stuff, lots of people. I was so happy because I got to eat pad thai, probably for the first time in 2 months! Yummy yummy. We got it from this stand with women who were obviously ethnically Thai, but spoke Japanese.

Its really interesting how that works out. Like a lot of the kebab places have people from abroad that own the restaurant and serve Japanese people. And there are a lot of black (idk if they are from Africa or are African-American) working at Harajuku. Its pretty crazy to think that they traveled all that way, have settled here, and know the language. Its probably hard to live in a place where you stand out so much and there aren't a lot of people that can identify with your culture.

I also bought a fruit from a stand selling produce from Thailand. Its sad, but I cannot remember what its called. Actually today was the first time I heard of it. But Trav said it was good so I bought a bag. They look like plums on the outside, but have a red skin you have to peel away, the white fruit inside is sooo good. Really delicious! And from what I've heard a lot cheaper here then they would be in the US. Like Travis bought one in Seattle for $3, and I got a bag of 4 for $5 today. So good.

Later we went to Asakusa. Even though the weather was bad and looked like it was about to rain, TONS of people there. ABSOLUTELY TONS! Like it is hard to explain how densely packed the whole area was. It was mainly a lot of waiting around. The main street was closed off for traffic for most of the time, so we were walking on the 4 lane road. Really crazy.

We waited on a corner for one of the major mikoshi to come. Lots and lots of people just waiting. We were on the corner of one street across from the famous huge red lantern (I'm so sad I forgot what it is called in japanese). Anyway, it was funny because Travis pointed out how quiet and patient everyone was. People were standing there I'm sure a lot longer than we were and the volume level was just above a whisper. Really quiet for such a crowd. Waited for probably an hour. It was late.

When it looked like something was coming a bunch of people crowded onto the street. The police were trying to get everyone back. But lol what happen next surprised both me and Travis. A policeman was asking the people in front of us to move back a little more and one old man talked back (actually yelled back to the officer). Travis said he said something like "Well if it came on time we wouldn't still be waiting here." Japanese people around us actually snickered. Very shocking. Lol. The policeman gave up. Haha.

When it finally came, really was a crazy site. The men don't just carry the mikoji, they have the pole on their shoulder and kinda bob up and down so the shrine looks like it is bouncing as it moves. OMG didn't realize how much energy it took. They would switch out in shifts and all of them looked really sweaty. The men who weren't carrying it formed a human circle around the carrying crew. They linked arms and would wobble out or in to keep people from getting too close. Idk if it happned on purpose, but the shrine seemed to drift to one side, pushing people on that side back and then drift to the other, pretty crazy.

It was so hard to see because there were so many people. Both people in matching hapi coats with the shrine and tourists/Japanese people watching. When it came so many phones and cameras were lifted up to take pictures and everyone went on their tipytoes to catch a glimpse. It was very overwhelming. Kinda like what I imagine Time Square is like on New Years Eve. I've only seen crowds like this in Japan. I can tell why there were so many police. It would have been so easy for someone to get trampled.

So not only are people there to watch the mikoji, but after it passes nearly the whole crowd follows it. So it was a swarm of people going after the shrine.

Travis had to explain the whole process to me because I am pretty uninformed on Japanese cultural events like this. Apparently there are shrines for each neighborhood, So it is the people from the neighborhood that coordinate the carrying and determine what the group wears. Also I heard from Travis and Scott that the Yakuza members are allowed to show off their tatooes at some point during the festival. Like that is the only time they are ever actually allowed to. Over the course of two days we didn't see any though. Although today Travis said there were a bunch of "scary looking" Japanese men that were dressed in matching hapis.

Also a shocker was what the guys were wearing. Some had a hapi coat with white pants. Others just had the hapi and a diaper type thing on. Kinda like a speedo, but the bottom half of their butts were exposed. Haha Kim, Candice, and I were laughing about it on Friday. Def not what I was expecting.

We waited again near the Asakusa Shrine. It was another 30 min or so wait. People were lined up in front of the closed shops, on the side streets, really wherever there was room.

Lol I couldn't tell whether it was the same mikoji that we saw earlier, or it it was a different one. Either way it was really close to us. Really close. Like last time, there was a so a float type thing that had women on it playing traditional music. It really set the mood.

After it went by, we followed it just like everyone else. Lol part way though the police blocked off the rest of the crowd right behind us. And once it got to a certain point, everyone had to get off the main street and go a round about way to the actual shrine.

We ate chicken steak there that was ridiculously good. Then went home. And now it is 1:27 am and I really need to sleep...

Wakatake Circle

2009-05-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

I have finally gotten serious about joining a group. In the US I'm a pretty flaky club member, so I knew it would be hard to stick with them here. Japan is all about having a place in the world, like somewhere you can devote your time to and build relationships. In college, the kids are all about having a club association. It is in no way like American university clubs. Usually Japanese students would only have time for one, as they are quite demanding. Aka the Watakate "circle" (compared to "clubs" supposedly less serious) has lunch meetings twice a week for an hour and activities every Saturday from 10 am-6 pm.

I origionally wanted to join the kadoubu circle, flower arranging, but when that fell through, I went soul searching. I stumbled upon a few volunteer groups and found one with a really long English explanation. Went to their club room in the ghettoest building on campus, was welcomed when I was reading their meeting sign, and have been going to meetings ever since.

Today was the first day I went to their main activity on Saturday. Everything is very structured. It seemed weird to be weird that it was so planned out, after all we were just gonna "play with disabled kids." The meetings take place entirely in Japanese and of course they are talking at conversation speed, so someone updated me with the info. Mainly: don't wear accessories, tie your hair back, and you'll be barefoot in the classroom so you don't slip when you are lifting or carrying the kids. Maybe this is going to be a little more involved then I thought.

We all met at Meguro station at 10 am. Killer to wake up! And walked together to the elementary school. It wasn't until on the way to the elementary school that I got the details. The girl I was paired up with is in a wheelchair, a junior in high school, and can't talk. Ok this is going to be a lot different than I thought.

We got there, set up, and waited to greet the kids. After getting over the shock value that they were all in various stages of mental retardation, I did my best to deal and help out as much as I could. I don't discriminate based on stuff like that, but I am always uncomfortable around special needs cases I guess. You just don't know what to expect, and you don't really know what to do.

Despite my shock and suprise, it turned out to be such a rewarding experiance. I almost cried probably 4 or 5 times throughout the day.

Before today I never really placed a face on the families before. The girl my group worked with today was brought to the elementary school by her mom. Her mom was really pretty and actually looked like one of my friend's moms. Very well dressed and I found out later that their family would be considered to be in the highest tier on the kanemochi scale (rich people). All the parents that came to drop their kids off and pick them up just seemed so happy, very social, very optimistic. I am sure the kids are so hard to take care of, but it seemed as though all of them were doing such good jobs. I was very impressed and very humbled.

During the course of the day in groups of four or five, we fed the kids we were working with lunch that their parents brought. Our girl's mom bought our group onigiris and dessert. So nice. We talked to them, changed their diapers (not something I was expecting to have to do), worked on a craft together, did a little physical activity, and "played." At various points we'd have little meetings where we would introduce each disabled child and cheer for them.

During one of those times, we gave each disabled student a chance to respond. Most don't really respond, or aren't responsive at all. But sometimes they will lift their head or move a finger or something. During one of those times, we were waiting for a little boy to respond. He like most of the kids was severely retarded, had to be strapped into the wheel chair so he didn't fall out. Probably the least disabled of all the kids was sitting right next to him. He had down syndrome, but could talk and comprehend. He was sitting right next to the other boy and reached out and held his hand. It was one of the most touching things I've seen in my life.

The parents came to pick their kids up at 4 pm. We went out to help load them in. It was then that I realized right next to the school a little league and soccer team was practicing. Little kids, really cute, very capable. I was just thinking to myself, life is so unfair. Their school is right next to the disabled school. They are so close, yet so far apart. How did they turn out so different?

We went back inside to have a meeting before we were finished. I could see the same young boy who we waited for his response earlier. He was out in the garden with his dad. He just turned 10 years old today and we sang him happy birthday. It was so touching because the dad was just sitting in front of his sons wheelchair talking to him. I'm sure he was probably just as unresponsive as before, but the pair were there outside the window for a long time. Just father and son. I suppose just like it would be in any family situation.

I realized today the love of parents. Unconditional, unfaltering love and concern. Parents of disabled children impress me the most. They know they will never really have the chance to watch their kids grow up, go to dances, get married, take care of them when they are old. They will probably worry about their kids everyday of their lives and plan for them for when the guardians pass away. They have a mountain of challenges each day for feeding, changing, and carrying for their babies, who will never grow out of it.

Yet today I realized that they are able to love the kids exactly the way they are. Whether they cannot express themselves, speak, or even hold their heads up, The parents are able to love and accept them. No hard feelings, no regrets. Just moving forward one day at a time. Occasionally getting help and leaning on one another for support.

This Saturday was demanding, challenging, and eye-opening. Today was more rewarding than I would have ever expected. I learned a lot about myself and I learned what it takes to be a good parent. Unconditional love, no matter what the circumstances.

TGIF

2009-05-16T05:24:00.001-07:00

Weeks go by so fast here.

A huge festival started yesterday in Asakusa. It is the one where the guys are carrying the huge gold-like shrines. Even though we missed the big parade because of class, Travis, Scott, Kim, Candice, and I met up to eat dinner and check it out. A lot of the shops at Asakusa were already closing when we first got there, but there were more street vendors there then I have ever seen! It is so crazy how the norm here is yakisoba, takoyaki, seafood, ramen, okonomiyaki, choco bananna, candied fruits, and alcohol! So good and yummy.

I ate a bunch of dessert stuff and a big fried bread thing filled with gyoza meat. It was not as good as it looked, but really popular and different.

We didn’t stay there that long, but did try to win goldfish. It was 300 yen per scooper. They were the carnival style ones, a plastic circle with paper in the center. You get as many goldfish as you can scoop up before the circle totally breakes. Really really hard. I got one, but Travis couldn’t get any. The guy running the stand gave him a trophy one though. Lol must have felt bad. Later Candice and Scott had a competition. Candice got two and Scott zero. Candice traded hers in for a prettier one and Scott got a really ugly fat fish for trying ☺

After all of us girls went with Travis to Shibuya to meet up with his friends at a standing bar. All of the food and drink was only 300 yen ($3). I had one of the strongest drinks of my life there. Gin and ginger ale, super strong, really cheap. I was tipsy off that one. Crazy!

Met a lot of exchange and Japanese students there. All of them were from Aoyama. Lol the white exchange students would speak to us in Japanese, had no idea that our native language was English. It was pretty funny. I guess because Kim, Candice, and I are Japanese, they just figured we were from there. Really unexpected.

Of course we left late enough that we were walking fast to catch our train/subway back. It was absolutely the most squished I’ve been on a train ever. I’m glad we had all drank before, otherwise it would have been totally unbearable.

Meeting new people, hanging out with old friends, trying to speak Japanese, eating good festival food, going places, and drinking…it doesn’t get much better than this.

Sleep Update

2009-05-16T05:22:00.000-07:00

Not only did I sleep at 9 pm, but I didn't wake up till 7:30 am the next morning. Didn't really have time to finish my homework or totally study for my quiz...

BUT since then I have been in a substantially happier and more social mood. Maybe all I need it just a little more sleep.

Need Sleep :(

2009-05-14T04:04:00.000-07:00

Somehow my sleep schedule is totally off right now. It is only 8 pm and I am considering sleeping now and waking up early to do my homework. I am so exhausted, but I guess the weekend is around the corner.

I'm trying to figure out why I am so sleepy now. I guess I went to sleep late Sunday and Monday night. Like not ridiculously late, but porbably only got 6 hrs of sleep a night. Tuesday I took a fat nap from 6-9pm and couldn't go to sleep until 4 am Wednesday morning. In other words, I only slept 3 hours Tuesday night.

SOMEHOW (I really don't know how!) I woke up at 7:30 that morning and went to both my classes.
(Lol you should be proud of me mom! I'm not wasting the money you're spending on tuition :))

So of course, I was exhausted Wednesday and had to take a 2 hr nap that day too. And now its Thursday night, and its pretty much guaranteed that I will sleep before 9 tonight. Goodnight, I'm off to bed :)

Saikyo Sen: Train Suicide?

2009-05-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

It is so crazy that I actually forgot about this until now. I ride the Saikyo line everyday to school. Its a really major one that runs through most of the big Tokyo stops (Ikebukuro, Shinjuku, Shibuya). I have to transfer to the Saikyo at Akabane. A ton of people take it, so there are always lines and even crowds of people waiting to climb the stairs to get to the platform.

Today there was a mass of people waiting at the bottom of the stairs that go up to the platform. No one was going up. It was blocked off. The time schedule was blank for the Saikyo going both directions. It looked like no one knew what was going on. Very odd.

I was so lucky because I was with a French guy from my dorm. Thank goodness for him because he knew another route we could go and still get to school. We were a couple minutes late, but I was just happy I made it in time to take the quiz.

Now I am beginning to think that I barely missed witnessing a train suicide. There is a really good chance that an accident happened before we got there on the very line and at the very station that we were at. There would be no other reason for them to completely stop all the Saikyo trains AND not even let people up the the platform.

At the same time, a lot of the media portrayal and common belief here is that train suicides are an "inconvenience" and not so much of a human tragedy. I might have mentioned before, but the JR company that runs a lot of stations is starting to fine the families of people who commit suicides at train stations. Not only does that seem rather harsh to me, but it also seems to show a total disrespect for the life lost and the family grieving. I don't think I'll ever fully understand suicides, but I have certainly had a lot more exposure to the problem since I've been here.

Wednesdays

2009-05-13T04:45:00.000-07:00

One of the best things about Sophia and taking classes here has been my schedule. Even though I have a first period class every morning and a daily dose of three-hours of Japanese, I get finished at 3 pm. AND Wednesdays I don't have class after lunch! In fact the whole Faculty of Liberal Arts department, that all the exchange students and some Japanese are in, has every Wednesday afternoon off.

It has been the best way to get over hump day and it has made my weeks go so much faster. I <3 Wednesday!

Appreciation

2009-05-12T08:47:00.000-07:00

I really don't know what I've been doing with my time the last two days. For some reason I have lost my productive drive and urgency to always do something. With that said, I feel like I have spent a lot of the time I would otherwise consider "wasted" just thinking. I usually don't have time to just think. Lol before now I would have probably would have considered all the better ways to use my time. But I guess I can start to understand how some people can just sit, daydream, and spend countless hours caught up in their own thoughts.

The shower rooms were switched again today. It is amazing what a difference water pressure makes. Rain baths v. showers. I've had two showers since then and I cannot get over how happy I am to have it. Its something I would have never thought twice about before. I never even thought about water pressure. Its one of those trivial things that we take for granted. We don't really appreciate it until for whatever reason it doesn't come through.

I feel like a lot of life is like this. You never recognize how good it is until something goes wrong. I never realized how financially stress-free my life is till I couldn't get money from the atm. I didn't really truly appreciate my family until I moved away for college. I didn't realize how much friends mean to me until I was all alone and without them. Sometimes it even takes us a death of a loved one for us to really value and cherish our lives.

For me, I wish I could recognize all the small things that I always take for granted. Like water pressure. Like the availability of clean drinking water. Having reliable health care. Government and law enforcement that is not corrupt. Idk. There are so many examples, but again, it is my inability to actually recognize them.

When you recognize the causes and conditions that have brought your life and current situation into being, even the bad times are never as bad as you think they are. There is an overwhelming amount of good in every bad. With this realization and appreciation, there really is never any reason to be sad. There are a million reasons for us to be thankful everyday in every situation.

Expiration Dates

2009-05-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

I noticed that a lot of the expiration dates are a lot shorter than I would assume to see in the US. For instance, it seems as though the shelf-life of products in grocery stores are significantly different, like almost all seem like they are fast approaching. Even with omiyage gifts that I have bought.

Earlier when Travis and I went to Ueno park, during hanami, we bought a packaged jelly that has a cherry blossom flower in it. Really cute. The expiration was only two months out! At that point we knew we had to send a box home right away. Also at the sumo match, I bought some souvenir-style cookies. I didn't realize till afterward, but they expire next month! Not what I was expecting for sure...

I wonder if the products here are less processed. Or that the population just demands fresher foodstuffs?

I do like the idea that most Japanese go grocery shopping on a daily basis to buy just what they need for the day. I think that's a lot different then the American concept of making grocery lists and buying a week's worth of food and ingredients at a time. To be more specific, it is the Japanese housewives. Every time I have gone to a grocery store, its always women who are the ones shopping. It is rare, very rare, to see Japanese men picking up anything besides bentos there. Its really nice to have fresh really fresh vegetables and meat at every meal. I think it is mainly the time and inconvenience factor that dissuades Americans from going this route.

Since I've been here, I've been trying to buy groceries on a daily basis, instead of buying weekly and stockpiling them. Really, I think you almost have to. The portion sizes they sell here are significantly smaller. They are meal sized, definitely not "family sized." I do miss the value of Costco's huge bags of frozen chicken breasts though. I think the reorientation of my grocery shopping has almost been a lifestyle change.

Starting to Get Sticky

2009-05-12T00:25:00.000-07:00

Haha I was going to write this and just realized that Travis just blogged about it. Well its worth mentioning again.

The humidity is definitely starting to come around. Ever since it stopped raining, the temperature has risen quite quickly. I love not having to wear a coat when I go out at night. But I can tell it is gonna get nasty really soon. Sticky, yucky.

Today was 76 degrees F. I still can not do the metric conversion. Lol, I feel so stupid when everyone else can use kg, degrees C, m, etc. Its too bad that number one, I don't know the metric system, and number two that I cannot convert anything. I rode the train with an exchange student from France this morning. We were talking about a hike he did in Korea and he said the distance in meters. Lol, since I didn't know how far a meter is, he converted it for me. I just felt ridiculous. He knows that there are 1.6 (CORRECTION!) kilometers in a mile. Wow, am I behind the curve or what?!

Anyway. Humidty is at 64% today. Not too bad, but then again it is overcast today, and its not that hot yet...Since yesterday I constantly have the feeling that I need to shower. I just feel gross and I swear I look sticky.

The high point is that all the classrooms that I know of at Sophia are air conditioned. And my dorm room has ac too.

I'm sure nothing will be as bad as the last time I was in Japan. My junior summer of high school I was in Osaka for a week in the middle of July. I stayed with a host family. It was really great, except for the fact that they only had air conditioning in their living room. All the bedrooms were on the second floor. The heat and humidity was what I remember most from that experience. Sweating every night under the covers is absolutely awful.

I have faith that this time around won't be that bad. However it is the crowded train ride commutes in 100% humidity in the middle of summer that I'm dreading the most...

Side Note

2009-05-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

Lol in class today my prof was talking about our annodated bibliography assignment again. He was trying to make the point that we are not necesarily writing a report on the topic, but are focused on looking on how it is represented and portrayed by the media and other groups.

Someone was talking about blogs. He said something to the effect of, "Some people think that blogs are the method through which people who are communication retarded try to convey their feelings and thoughts." He said that's an actual argument.

Ouch. Lol, I hope that's not a reflection of me personally...

Recent Notes

2009-05-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

More reminders
-grocery store shopping (sushi, sashimi, sales)
-amazon japan...
-work ethic (v. America, mcdonalds)
-siri lankan (usb comp, engineer)

SUMO!

2009-05-11T04:55:00.000-07:00

Lol went to a sumo match with Jocelyn and Kim on Sunday. The stadium had the most tourists I have seen confined in a single area. I guess it is one of those quintessentially Japanese things to do here. I guess that's part of the reason we wanted to go so bad too. As much as I hate to admit it, we are just as bad as the rest of the gaijin here. Haha.

We bought souvenirs and ate chanko, a soup like dish that the sumos eat. And took a lot of pictures...(I really need to buy a cord so I can start uploading all my pics...) The days events started at 8 am, but thankfully we decided not to show up till 1ish. All the junk matches are at the beginning and get progressively better as the day rolls on.

Basically we didn't know what the heck was going on till the very end. And we didn't know any of the sumos till we learned their names through the souvenirs we bought. We cheered for Kim's "shirt guy" and my postcard sumos. Lol they are supposed to be the best two. Good thing I bought the postcards, lol otherwise we would have had no idea. And we read about a Bulgarian guy that was featured in the English pamphlet.

There were actually a fair number of white sumos. We would try to figure out if they were Japanese or white when they came out. Some were hard to tell. Consider that we were in the second highest section. AND our tickets were $50! I cannot even imagine how expensive the seats close on the first level were... haha but anyway, Jocelyn would be like, "Ok, he has chest hair. Def a white guy!" Lol the funniest test of race ever!

The nice thing is that the sumos are so big, really easy to see, even from the second level. Its nothing like a baseball game. Def get to see all the action. Haha sounds kinda obvious, but it made a big difference!

The matches went really fast. At the beginning the two competitors would enter the ring and banners of their sponsors were brought out. One of them was sponsored by the big ochasuke brand (lol I don't know the name, but I could recognize the packaging) and later someone was sponsored by McDonalds!

Most of the time was spent in preparing, kinda like how baseball players do a routine before they face a pitcher. They would slap themselves, drink water, spit it out, kinda flour their hands up (like with stuff rock climbers use I think), throw salt, enter the ring, and if they thought it appropriate step away and do it again. They seemed to have an unlimited amount of time to start. Some sumos would back out multiple times before they actually started. I think they would back out to kinda psych the other one out. Idk for sure though. None of us knew the rules :)

It was interesting because there was a featured article on the Bulgarian in the handout, like I said earlier. Apparently he beat a grand master champion a few years ago and that's when he really got famous. We were talking and were like, "I wonder what the Japanese think about him?" Its like getting beat at your own game. There was a lot of commotion before his match. He lost pretty quickly and the crowed cheered a lot. It seemed as though the crowd was definitely not for him in that match. I think for the Japanese people there was some satisfaction in seeing him loose to a Japanese sumo. Or at least I would assume so.

Kim and Jocelyn were rooting for him and after the day was finished we asked Landon if he was too. He said definitely not, he was going for the Japanese guy. I'm pretty biased in this case. Lol I like to think that Japanese people have superiority of genetics or whatever for stuff like this. Of course I know its not true. But for some reason I still seem to think stuff like that. Lol it makes me laugh.

Homesick

2009-05-10T05:14:00.001-07:00

I believe this is one of the first times I have legitimately been homesick. Usually I miss certain things whenever I travel or move, but I really have never missed home this much. Even when I was in India for a month, or when I first moved to Seattle to go to school, I never have missed anything as much as I miss Seattle and all of my friends there. Even in such a big city as Tokyo, with all the people it has, I can be lonely. That's amazing and sad all at the same time.

Its not like I haven't made friends here or haven't been going out. In fact I just got back from a sumo tournament that I went to with two of the girls I've grown closest to. But I think it is the fact that I know I am going home to an empty room and that I will be by myself for the entire night that kills me. Walking home all alone, from the station has been the hardest part of living here.

Even though I didn't spend tons of time with the girls in Seattle, we always had dinners and parties, always had chances to catch up. I lived with Megan, so we would cook and talk on a regular basis. I miss knowing I could call them. Having the ability to meet up when our schedules permitted. Knowing they were nearby, knowing that I could count on them if something came up. Now the distance doesn't allow for the small comforts like that.

I have no idea how I used to think I could live by myself. At the end of my freshman year, I wanted nothing more than a one-bedroom apartment. I'm glad it didn't work out. I would have got so lonely.

Maybe its because I am so used to cooking for me and Reese. Used to studying together. Never had to worry about being by myself. Maybe that is why I am the way I am now. Or maybe he just helped me realize the part of me that needs interaction, that thrives on close friendships.

While some people fear death, I am most afraid of being alone. Losing my family, my friends. I cannot imagine anything worse than that. Realized this about myself a few years ago. I haven't really thought about it much until now. I don't think it's something I can necessarily get over, but its worth confronting. Especially now.

Thinking in Japanese

2009-05-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

Last night when I was lying in bed trying to sleep, I was going over conversations I've had in Japanese. My memory is terrible, so I have no idea how I even remembered them, much less why I was thinking about it at 2 am. Either way, by some miracle, I actually was recalling entire sentences I've said in Japanese within the last couple of days.

Most of them where grammatically incorrect and/or included English that I had to add for the inability to think of what I wanted to say in Japanese. I found myself correcting the sentences or trying to figure out how I could have said them better. I really don't think there is much I can express in Japanese, but really this reflection has started to persuade me otherwise. But it still takes me a while and some deep mental searching.

If you talk to me live in Japanese, it still doesn't come out very well. But whether I realize it or not, I'll be reviewing it in my head for the next time.

The Coolest Thing I've Bought Yet!

2009-05-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

Recently I haven't spent that much money. LOL instead I'm saving it for when Grant and Jenna get here. But over golden week I bought on of my favorite items yet. I don't know what its called it Japanese, but it is essentially a sandwich maker.

If you've ever seen Japanese sandwiches you will realize the following:
1. they are crustless AND
2. each edge of the sandwich is sealed

They are kinda like a sandwich-version of pop tarts. Really convenient, compact, and mess free. None of the fillings will fall out and you don't have the eat the crust.

I always wondered how they were made. Little did I know there are plastic squares that you can buy. The best $9 I've ever spent!

Restless

2009-05-09T02:01:00.000-07:00

I've been studying ALL DAY...I am pretty over it right now. I have plans tomorrow and a two chapter test and "role play" test for Japanese Monday. So instead of going anywhere, I have been slaving away in my room. It was raining for nearly four days straight during golden week...so of course today was really sunny and the weather looked great outside. *sigh*

What a sad weekend I've had so far. Friday night I was working on my senior synth project. And all day today studying for Japanese. I know it will probably be like this until I finish up my class at SU next month. I have a good amount of work to do before then.

Realized today that I study probably the worst way possible for Japanese. We always have daily homework that I try to finish as fast as possible. I never read the grammar notes that we are supposed to for class. AND I don't really review anything until it comes to preparing for tests. Lol, it may be an okay way to pass, but this isn't the best way to actually learn anything. This may explain why a lot of the Japanese hasn't stuck with me. After the test, I am going to attempt to change my study habits, but I know its gonna be hard.

For the last 15 years, I have measured my academic success on grades, rather than the amount of material I learned. Its a sad realization I have come to in my last term taking classes. In some ways I see how the school system's reliance on grades breeds mindsets like mine. And if we were to rate my performance in terms of grades, I have done well. I was never the type of person to skip class all the time and I almost always finish the entirety of assigned readings (no matter how boring they are). But realistically, how much do I remember? Sadly, not much. Scholastic information was stored in the short-term section of my memory and always mentally disposed of at the end of each quarter.

Finally, and its about time, I can admit I like classes. I have never been a person who was thrilled to go to school. But I have recently begun to appreciate learning (of course it depends heavily on the subject and professor!) Some people love computers, math, or sciences. For me it's always been about humanities. Its not a field that will is going to make you a lot of money, but I figure you might as well pursue what you enjoy. Between international studies and journalism, I have truly loved some of the classes I've had thus far. Currently with my anthro classes here, I enjoy the readings and even look forward to lectures.

Its easy to get bogged down with all the hw and assignments. But its an opportunity to EVEN have the chance to go to school, much less college. This is something I need to remind myself more. There is no excuse for studying half-heartedly. Education is not something to be taken for granted and it should not be wasted.

Loose Pants

2009-05-08T06:37:00.000-07:00

Lol today I realized all of my jeans are really loose. Like I probably haven't been this skinny since freshman year. I've been kinda strict with what I let myself eat. But then again, I don't think its any different than Seattle. I think the main difference is the walking. Oh and portion sizes. My goal is to keep this up so I HAVE to buy new jeans when I get back. LOL.

I really don't eat nearly as many veggies and fruits here. They are pretty expensive, so I have a hard time spending the money on them. Really it makes me laugh. Cooking dinner is always pretty funny. I swear I can eat a ridiculous amount of French toast. I've probably made that the most. It really is my favorite breakfast/easy meal. I've made fried rice a lot too and gyoza. Tarako spaghetti once and karage chicken a couple of times. I still have yet to buy fish from the small fish market. Maybe next week and get some yakitori on the way home from the station.

I love the noodles here, so haven't really craved much American food. If anything I probably miss pad thai the most. I am also starting to crave barbeque food, like cheeseburgers, corn on the cob. I am definitely gonna plan a bbq get-together when I get back. We don't have an oven at the dorm either (weird huh?) so I miss baking. CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! haha

Lots to Think About...

2009-05-08T06:11:00.000-07:00

I am finally realizing now that this will be my last term actually taking classes. When I get back to Seattle (granted all the credits transfer and everything) I have to do a journalism internship for credit fall quarter, then that's it...pretty crazy. I still can't wrap my mind around that.

I don't think I'm ready to graduate yet. I still don't feel like I'm old/mature enough to enter the real world. Lol I would much prefer living off my parents for a few more years if that is alright with them :)

I've put in a couple of good days of work on my senior synthesis. Hard to believe this is it. Wrote 5 news stories, 11 pages. Still have 3 or so articles left to go, plus putting together the website. Its not that close to being done yet, but at least it seems less daunting now. Its really too bad I have to do it from abroad. But since it means I don't have to stick around for two more quarters, I am happy to do it now, even in Japan...

Wow this is literally it. Two and a half more months in a classroom and I'm finished...

There are some big choices to come. I hate to admit it, but I'm pretty scared.

弟 (Little Brother)

2009-05-07T05:33:00.000-07:00

Lol just found out my little brother got accepted to the BCA youth exchange this summer. He will be coming to Japan in July to tour our mother-temple in Kyoto and do other cultural/religious stuff. Lol he'll either be coming up early or staying later. HAHA i get to show my little brother Tokyo!

This should be fun. I hope he has finished growing his hair out for locks of love...lol and got it cut so he doesn't look like a total scrub. Maybe Japan will teach him how to dress too. Lol, just joking. No but really...

May 7th: 2nd Year Anniversary

2009-05-07T04:45:00.000-07:00

Today is May 7th. Reese and my 2nd year anniversary. Like Reese said this will probably be the most unconventional anniversary we have. Or at least I hope so. Talked on skype for nearly 3 hours today. Its still not the same as being there in person though.

Its really sad when you can't be together on occasions like this. Thousands of miles across the ocean, with a 17 hour time difference, and haven't actually seen him for over 6 weeks, I knew from the beginning it wouldn't be the best time to celebrate.

I really give props to the couples who manage to work a long distance relationship. Its a hard way to do it and not really my style, or Reese's either, I think. But at the same time I think the distance and time apart makes you appreciate the other person more. I try not to bring up Reese's name all the time (afterall what is more annoying than someone who talks about their significant other constantly?) But I notice Travis always says things like, "Reese would love this..." or "That's Reese's favorite..." stuff like that. I think no matter where you are there are always things that remind you about the people you care about.

What makes today more special than tomorrow or yesterday? I think it is memories. Identifying a day when it all started makes it feel more real for people. Kind of like birthdays. Each year, half year, or month, you can track the progress. Look back on where you were and see how far you have come.

However, I don't think that time really shows that much for relationships. People can be together for years and then break up or get a divorce. I wouldn't necessarily say longer is better like many would argue. I think being together for a long time shows commitment, but isn't necessarily a gauge for how close the couple is or how much they love each other or whatever.

Its hard for someone on the outside to judge or measure another person's relationship. Sure you can see how they act together, ask how long they have been a couple, take observations, interview each person. But really no matter how hard you try, there is really no way of knowing how they feel for each other. It is a very personal thing, a mutual understanding, something that people on the outside have no way of comprehending or fully grasping.

So as long as two years might seem, I really do not believe that time is something you can brag about in relationships. And love is something you cannot explain to others. I guess its really just between us, me and Reese. Two is just a number and today is just another day. Special to us, but why I don't really know.

Day with Yukari

2009-05-07T03:52:00.000-07:00

Today I met up with Yukari, one of my Japanese friends. We met at a GL lunch chat session. She is really sweet and speaks unbelievable English. On her suggestion we went to Sunshine City mall at Ikebukuro. In the mall they have a place called Namja. Its really hard to explain, but basically you pay a few dollars and you get to enter the establishment.

It is kind of like a theme park in that the decorations and set up are portraying like an "old Japan." Idk what Namja is exactly, but there were samurai dressed animated looking cats that I believe are their mascot/trademark. Yukari said that the Namja at Ikebukuro is the only one, its not a chain. There were a lot of kids there but also a lot of couples and young people. Apparently Ikebukuro is really popular with young adults. Even though it is a stop on my way home from school, this is the first time I have gone outside the station. Lol.

I don't know exactly home many floors Namja was, but it seemed like it had to be at least 3 or 4. Each floor had some specialty on it. One had multiple gyoza stands. The room was set up to mimick a crowded street filled with street vendors and it surprisingly looked the part. Little stores lined the zig-zagging street. And every place had various versions of gyoza with different fillings, gyoza in soup, oily ones, non-oily ones, basically every kind you could imagine. We ate at the one that was the first to establish itself there. There was a little grandma who was welcoming people to the stand. Her picture was everywhere around the booth, so we assumed she was the owner. We chose their best selling gyoza and it was delicious :)

The next floor had an ice cream museum. A ton of weird and strange flavors. They came in really small dixie cup sized pre-packaged dishes. For between $3-5 you could buy ones that tasted like nori, wasabi, tako (octopus), sakura, azuki, an unbelievable assortment. There had to have been at least 100 different flavors. Further in there were shops that sold ice cream from various parts of the world. Italian gelato, Belgium, Hong Kong, soft cream, and Hokkaido ice creams. We went with Hokkaido, which was like soft serve in a crepe. Really really good. I cannot get enough of the ice cream they have here.

There was another area with desserts like cakes and various other sweets that we had to pass up. Also a floor with services like massage and other beauty related sorts. However, we did stop at the arcade. The prizes they have are so cute, but nearly impossible to win. Disappointing but to be expected.

We spent the rest of the day walking around the mall and eating/chatting at McDonalds. The service at McDonalds here is really fantastic. The place was crowded so one of the employees found us a table, another person was clearing people's trays for them, and yet another was directing customers to the shortest line at the counter when they were ordering. McDonalds is much more hip and clean here then it will ever be in the US.

Learned a lot about Yukari and Japan in general today. She is really quite amazing. She has studied in California and Australia. Her dad lives more then half the year in Hong Kong, due to his job at an international company. So she has also visited him there and traveled to China and Korea. She's gone to private Catholic school her whole life. Furthermore Yukari will be studying at a language school in Vancouver during summer break. People here amaze me. And it is great to have a Japanese informant.

Grumpy

2009-05-06T06:19:00.000-07:00

I realized every time I go downstairs to cook in our community kitchen I am grumpy. Maybe its because I've been in front of my computer all day working on my senior synth. Or maybe its the fact that I haven't gotten dressed and that I'm just not that happy with how I look. Or it could be that I would rather just have a private kitchen and not have to deal. Or some combination of the above plus more...

I can be a pretty big homebody. Especially on days like this, where it is raining so hard there is no way you will go outside. And you have so much to do there really is no chance for much more than a few minute break on facebook. I've pretty much been staring at my computer screen for the last 7 hours straight. I hate how you see the day changing right in front of you and you don't have much more to show for than a few digital pages of work and a bunch of notes. Now its nearly 10:30 pm and I'm wondering where the day went. Still have stuff to do...

I just realized while I was cooking today that I always dread going down to the kitchen. I don't know what it is. I pretty much have something to do whenever I am hungry, so maybe its the feeling of wasting time. There are days I would rather not have to worry or think about speaking Japanese. And as sad as it might sound, there are also days that I would rather sit alone, be by myself, and not have to worry about making small talk and being friendly. Lol that sounds to emo. But a lot of days I wish I had a lot more privacy here than I actually have.

I feel bad for all the people who have to put up with me in the kitchen though. Today I was feeling the worst for them. Its not like I see a lot of people in my dorm on a regular basis, but I can only imagine what they think of me if they only run into me while I'm trying to cook and not be bothered. I wish I could apologize for my behavior. Its really not who I am, tomorrow on I'll be a happy kitchen mate. I'm gonna try harder to make life better for everyone in the kitchen. LOL

Homelessness

2009-05-06T01:59:00.000-07:00

Walking back from the club, I got a huge reality check. Inside the subway station there were upwards of five homeless men who were arranging cardboard to sleep on. Some were just lying on the ground next to the stores in the station. It was one of the saddest things I have seen yet. They didn't have bags of their possessions or anything. Just sleeping, their heads tucked inside their jackets, lying on the hard tile. People in the station, on their way home, didn't look twice at them. It was such a sharp contrast. Men and women dressed up from their night out with friends or families walking right past their opposites impoverished men who are all alone and have no where else to sleep but the station.

The homelessness was not something I thought I would have to deal with. I know housing is expensive here, but I think it has been so shocking because the city seems so rich. Tokyo is one of the most expensive places anyone can live. The rarity of actually seeing homeless people probably magnifies how bad I feel every time I see someone in that stage in their life. Its like the opposite of India for me. Instead of seeing so many poor and homeless people on a regular basis that I got hardened to it, the sharp sharp contrast of rich v. poor here is unbelievable.

Riding the train over a bridge one day, Travis and I saw a collection of shacks right near a river. Small one room, built from left over metal and everything. Plus they were right next to a baseball field where a little league was playing. While the little boys practiced, the people living there were hanging up their laundry. Every once in a while, I see people resting or sleeping at Shibuya. Just 5 minutes from my favorite high end mall. Like Shibuya is one of the Tokyo's fashion capitals. So much wealth all over and yet some people are sleeping on the ground. Its a sad sight.

I always wondered if it is more downgrading to be homeless in a rich country rather than no that is not as developed. For instanced India, where a great majority of the country would be classified as working-poor and a huge number are homeless or live in slums, verses Japan, who it developed, technologically advanced, and a great majority of their population is at least in the middle class category. I'm sure they are used to being homeless wherever they are, they probably don't know any more than the extent of their circumstances allows. But I'm sure the demographics and population of the area around them has to affect how they think of themselves and their situation.

You always wish there is something you can do. It must be such a hard life.

Club A-Life

2009-05-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

I wonder if the name at all corresponds with the NY urban brand A-life? Regardless it was one of the best nights I have had yet. Aska invited me to a party hosted by a group called Zero. It a bunch of Sophia and Waseda college students who throw parties. From what I understand they rent out the clubs then organize bashes. They even have a bunch of sponsors. Aska said they are the best party people, so I decided early to go.

Advanced tickets were half the price, so Jocelyn and I decided to go with those. Only problem is that you have to get them directly from a Zero member. Aska's friend forgot the tickets the day before, so we were put on the waiting list. It is a pretty exclusive thing, the night of I had to say "Zero, no bob, no guest desu" as confirmation? I don't know exactly what it was for, but it got us in for $20.

We got there around 7pm and the party started at 4. So a good number of the people in there were already drunk. I was actually amazed how many people were there considering it was so early. The dj altered between trance/techno and American hip-hop every half hour or so. We were both surprised at both the turn out and atmosphere.

The demographics were good. I would say all of the people there were college students. Pretty much everyone knew most of the other people there. Nearly everyone was Japanese. But since most of them were educated in international schools, they switched easily between speaking in Japanese and English, although Japanese was primarily spoken. It was also one of the best dressed clubs I have been in. None of the girls were wearing anything particularly skanky. Actually I really liked the dresses, shirts, and outfits that they had on. Its def different from the US in a good way. I like how you don't have to deal with the tight, low-cut stuff that a lot of American girls wear. Oh and also, the guys don't hit on you like crazy like they would in the US.

Halfway through the night they even had people perform. Like two girls did a hip-hop dance routine. Then a group of three guys had something like an America's Best Dance Crew show. It was soo good. Really the best thing I have ever seen live. After two guys did a show to the beat of a rap song. In sync they would catch the soccer ball on the small of their back, flip it up and balance it on their head, juggle it with their feet. It's really hard to explain and I really am not doing it justice. The last group was a guy beat boxing. He was really amazing. Sounded like something was being mixed, he had 5 or more sounds/rhythms going at the same time. But then while he was doing it, the rest of the group came out. Two guys who were yo-yoing to the beat, a dancer, and a soccer juggling guy. It was the craziest thing to see them doing it all at the same time. Such a good group of performers. I hope to upload one of Jocelyn's videos soon!

When we were sitting watching the whole club going crazy, I was thinking what better dancers Japanese are then American guys. Really it seems like they are not only concerned with how they look, but also how well they can move. Really saw some guys that stand out. The white exchange students were doing their 2-steps looking awkward and the Japanese guys were totally showing them up. Lol even big guys can dance. I have determined the superiority of male Japanese dancers.

Sometimes Things Don't Work Out: School Edition

2009-05-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe how fast my time is going here. Both golden week and school in general. Trying to balance my senior synth and schoolwork here and life has been tough. Well actually hasn't been that bad, but I really haven't done much work on my synth yet...

I have set out an upwards of 40 emails to journalists, editors, communication professors, ethics profs, women's studies scholars, bioethics professionals. I would say that half have not sent back a reply, a fourth have no comment, and I have had success getting 7 responses in all. Some are short one liners. Others are more in depth. By far the most detailed response has come from the editor of the Seattle Times (surprisingly enough)!

One ethics prof at SU didn't want to respond by email, so I set up my Skype to call him. I test called Reese. Stayed up till 2 am Tokyo time for his 10 am office hours. Dialed the number and his line was disconnected. I emailed him trying to figure out what was going on. Turns out he gave me the wrong number. He said it would be better if I called him Wednesday...

Arrrrr. Please explain to me why I am up at 2:43 am, didn't get the interview, and need to do this all again Thursday morning :(

Golden Week=Family Time

2009-05-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

I like the idea that most of the country has the better part of the week off. It is obvious what a workaholic culture Japan has breed. Most dads are busy working so they can support their families. I imagine that they aren't home much, nor do they have much time to spend with their wife or kids.

However, it seems like this is the one break every year that most people have to make up for all the time lost. Instead of having trains packed with salarymen, families, couples, and friends have been filling all forms of public transportation. This is the first time I have seen so many men in casual clothes instead of suits. Dads are everywhere. Before it was rare to see a father and child out together, now they are everywhere.

It is sad because I can tell they are good dads. They just don't get much time at all to see their kids and watch them grow up. Instead they are working so the financial aspects are set. It must be a hard life. I know a lot of moms stay at home. They probably don't get to see their husbands much either and they have a lot to manage on their own.

Its really too bad it has to be so black and white, an either work or family choice. I am happy for everyone that golden week gives families a chance to be together for a few days.

White Dads, Japanese Moms

2009-05-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

I was at Yoyogi park with Travis, Bea, and some of their friends. A lot of people out because it is Golden Week. Kids, dogs, families, bartenders practicing their alcohol juggling. Travis pointed out a group that was sitting near us.

There were a bunch of happa kids running around. All of the guys near them where white gaijin and the women were Japanese. That was the first time I really saw so many happa kids in the same place here. It really exemplified the "white fetish" that was big in Japan during the late 80's early 90's. Like 8 families. All the white dads talking in English. The Japanese moms talking in Japanese. An interesting observation to say the least.

I'm not one to judge who marries who or whatever, but I found it curious that their group wasn't associating or in the park with a Japanese man/white woman family nor a Japanese/Japanese family nor white/white family. I wonder how that worked out. It is always interesting to see how gender and nationality plays into relationships and especially marriage and association trends.

Kids Kabuki

2009-05-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

There was a kids kabuki performance at what I believe was a Shinto shrine in Hatchobori. (I still have problems distinguishing Shinto shrines from Buddhist temples. It's pretty bad, I know...). Met up with Travis and Bea to watch it.

The kids were soo cute. I couldn't really understand what they were saying, apart from the props and acting. But they took their parts so seriously. I had to keep reminding myself that they were little kids. Their performances were just magnified by the fact that they were so young and still did so good. It was quite amazing that they remembered all their lines, all the steps and moves, on and on. They just had the cutest voices when they talked. Like really high Japanese voices. I love it when kids speak in Japanese. It just sounds so much cuter than English.

Today I decided, when I have kids I will have them do something traditional like this or odori. I am sad that I never took odori lessons like a lot of my friends. I think it is one of those things that helps you appreciate and learn about your culture.

Shibamata

2009-05-04T07:09:00.000-07:00

Travis and I went to Shibamata Saturday. This will prob somewhat of a repeat of his blog, since he posted about it before me. But here it is from my perspective.

I love the old areas of Tokyo. It reminds me of the city's humble roots. There is something satisfying about buying directly from the people who are making their specialty sembe, dango, or whatever their product is. I have never been that crazy about food, but Tokyo is changing my mind. I can definitely not say I am a foodie, but it is so fun to find delicious snacks/desserts sold at obscure small stands. The fact that you can see the people flipping the sembe over a fire is crazy. I am so used to the disconnect between food and the people behind it, this whole experience as been refreshing.

We bought some of the best dango I have ever had. Soo delicious. The shop was really traditional. I wish there was a better way to explain it, but there's not really anything I can compare it to. Really nice too, because there are few tourists in this area. I feel like it takes away from the experience when a bunch of gaijin are all over the place. Also found a place that sells really fresh handmade hard candies. I usually don't eat hard candy, but this was so good. It was almost a little soft because it was just made. Sugary, yet light, not an overpowering flavor. Perfect!

Hawaii Festival

2009-05-04T06:31:00.000-07:00

VenusFort mall at Odaiba is hosting a two week Hawaiian Festival. The mall is absolutely gorgeous. It is looks like Caesars Place in Vegas. European design, clouds and changing ceiling, huge Greek fountain. Go figure, I went two times in three days...

Friday went with Kim, Jocelyn, and Lydia. Somehow the train directions that I got from the site took us north instead of south. It took us a total of probably 2.5 hrs to get there! Needless to say we missed the performance at 4:30pm. It worked out well though because we were starving when we got there. They have a restaurant at VenusFort that serves Hawaii food, or a Hawaii-Japanese fusion. I got a lomi lomi salmon salad, Kim had North Shore garlic shrimp, and there were loco mocos and a few other "local" favorites like that. The best part was that the performance was right outside the restaurant. While we were eating the group Pali (Kim and Reese don't know who they are) were performing and we could see and hear them from our table. They sounded quite "Hawaiian" (lol, idk what that means!)

After we went outside to watch the dance performance. Kim, being the hula dancer she is, was like, "This isn't hula and those girls don't look Hawaiian. They look Polynesian." After it was over, she asked where they were from. North Shore, Honolulu. Haha it wasn't till the next day that I read the postcard thing they were handing out. LOL they were from the Polynesian Cultural Center on Hawaii's North Shore. Lol Kim was right and they really are from the North Shore. Kim just thought they were saying it, so they could be considered legit.

The fire dancers were the best part of that night though. Even Kim was impressed. At one point there were 5 people on the stage all twirling their fire sticks at the same time. They would set them down on the stage at certain times and the fake grass stage caught on fire a few times. Small fires, but there were people at every corner with water and fire extinguishers. Pretty crazy. It was one of the best performances I have seen.

On Sunday I went back with Travis and some of his friends. We primarily wanted to see Manoa DNA. It is weird because they played at UW's luau last weekend and they are here in Japan the very next weekend. It was the second day that I realized what an advertising gimmick the whole "festival" is. There were representatives from the hugest hotels in Honolulu at the mall with booths and information (Hilton, Marriot). The whole thing was hosted in part by Hawaii's tourism board. Aloha print bags, shirts, and dresses were sold at huge profit. They even had a huge advertising video broadcast before the performance. Miss Hawaii was also there. She was interviewed and it was the fakest thing I have ever seen in person. What is your favorite island? "Well...All of Hawaii's islands are beautiful. But I would have to say my favorite is Oahu in the summer..." Biggest BS I've ever heard in my life.

Finally after all the tourist plugs Manoa DNA played. They are actually really good. I don't think I have actually heard any of the stuff until that day. Really really talented singers/musicians. Travis' Japanese friend was absolutely amazed. So cute. It was standing only and the area was packed. Almost everyone was wearing some kind of Hawaii print. A surprising number had T&C shirts or 88 tees. Manoa DNA even sang some songs in Japanese.

I stayed after because Bruce Shimabukuro was there (Jake's little brother). I thought he was going to play, but actually he was just giving a group lesson and signing autographs.

I really can't wait to go back to Hawaii. Seems like it is everyone's paradise.

Identity Crisis of Sorts

2009-05-04T06:28:00.000-07:00

At the end of my anthropology class the prof was asking if anyone had ideas for their big annotated bibliography project. It has to be relevant to culture/society studies and needs to be contemporary. I asked if it would be okay to do mine on expatriates who return to Japan and the alienation they feel. It was one of the many ideas that Dylan sent me (thank you!).

The gaijin professor automatically half-jokingly responded, “Like you?”

I was confused. I am an expatriate? Am I American? Am I Japanese? What do I consider myself? And what do others consider me to be? Last time I was here I thought I resolved my identity issue. But questions still seem to come up.

I was in high school I came to Japan for the first time. I was part of a sister-city exchange, so in the middle of the hottest part of the summer, I stayed with a host family for a week. Before arriving in Japan, I always considered myself “Japanese.” My mom always emphasizes the “American” when she answers questions and refers to herself as “Japanese-American,” but I just would say Japanese. Being Japanese is part of what sets me apart. Or at least I felt like it gave me membership and association with an exclusive group. Not a lot of people can say they are Japanese. I am full too, so identity was never an issue.

When I came to Japan, my whole notion of who I was got shaken up and turned upside-down. Not only could the Japanese people tell I wasn’t from Japan, but they were more interested in the fact that I was American. I wasn’t as Japanese as I thought I was. Really genetics have little to do with it at all. “Ok,” I told myself, “I am American.”

Not long after my trip, a few friends and I went to a Japanese American Citizen’s League (JACL) youth conference. It was there when I first heard of the term “banana” as a way of describing people. Yellow on the outside and white on the inside. Get it? I found it to be the perfect way to describe my situation. I look the part (well sort of), but really can’t speak Japanese, grew up in a “white” neighborhood, know more about America then Japan. I’m a banana.

I’ve accepted that about myself. I introduce myself as a nikei jin (Japanese American), but really I am 100% American, born and raised.

But when my prof subtly referred to me as an expatriate, I had to question my identity again. As a fourth generation Japanese American, I don’t know that I have enough immediate connections to be considered an expat? My white American professor may think I am an expat, but what would Japanese people say? As he said on the first day of class, “What is Japanese ENOUGH to be considered Japanese?” I still wonder.

Kanji

2009-05-02T06:43:00.000-07:00

I never realized the real benefit of kanji until I got here. Sure they look cool and you can make really gorgeous calligraphy, but really there is a practical purpose for each character. Lol this may seem like a really dumbed down statement, but I really hardly believed it until now. Prior to Japan, I could not get past the inconvenience factor. Doesn't it mean the same thing if I write it in hiragana?! Lol too many things to learn and not enough brain capacity to get all of the Japanese grammar, writing, comprehension, plain/polite distinctions, conjugating verbs, etc. in! I probably hate it because I am so bad at remembering/reading/writing them!

I'm embarassed to say that I am now in a Japanese class were the profs write nearly everything in hiragana, because no one has learned much kanji. It is rather ridiculous. Lol even with the limited number I can recognize or at least remember learning, very very few are ever written. *sigh* My class is a little bit too easy to say the least.

We had an assignment last week where we were given random verbs and had to conjugate them. Put what class they are in (1,2,3), change them to polite, and then to past form. it wouldn't have been that hard, but all of them were written entirely in hiragana. If you have taken Japanese, you know how much easier it is to read/understand it if it is in kanji.

Being the person that I am, when I get loads of homework, I always do it as fast as I can. Get it over with. It is definitely not a good way to study, especially for Japanese. That is probably the reason a lot of this stuff doesn't stick. Oh well. Anyway, I did the sheet fast and ended up getting a ton of red marks all over it when I got it back. So hard to read things written totally in hiragana. Who would have thought?!

Things That Make Me Laugh

2009-05-02T04:17:00.000-07:00

1. Switching shower rooms. Every month or so the girls and guys swap shower rooms. One has a sauna, so the management is trying to be fair about giving everyone the chance to use it. Its fine as long as you know which one you are supposed to use. A few weeks ago I walked into the one I had been using since I got here. Someone was in there taking a shower. I thought nothing of it, but then I heard a cough. A deep man cough. Sh*t I'm in the wrong bathroom!! Luckily I had not gotten undressed and I was still in the entry room, not actually by the showers! Since then I always check the door to the shower to make sure they haven't switched the rooms without my knowledge!

2. Kirin Free. I bet this beer hasn't reached the US yet, but Kirin just released a new one called "Free." I always see ads for it on the train. It is bottled or can and marked with Kirin just like its other beer. But it is breakthrough because it contains 0.00% alcohol. It seems very contradictory to me. Haha, I thought the reason people actually drank beer was because of its alcohol factor?! I cannot stand beer even though it is always at parties and is the cheapest way to get drunk. I do not understand why anyone would drink beer if it didn't have the alcohol. It doesn't smell that good, taste that great, BUT it has alcohol. I don't know what beer is w/out its one asset. This makes me laugh.

3. Send over the English speaker! Whenever we go to nicer restaurants the only English speaker waiter is usually the first one to even address us. I don't know how we stick out so much for them. The Japanese speakers don't even try to speak to us. Lol. We've been served by the same waiter at Zest (Ebisu) twice. Ordering is probably the one thing I actually can do in Japanese!

4. Who they address. I went out to lunch with one of my friends from Seattle. He is Greek so he totally looks white. We went to a very traditional noodle restaurant near Sophia. We were the only non-Japanese people there and the menu was written in kanji and everything. Even though he speaks Japanese better than me, the waitress spoke directly to me. Haha, I think she thought I was Japanese or at least would know more Japanese than my white friend. The funniest thing is that I didn't even realize it till he pointed it out. I realize that whenever I've been out with white people, the Japanese will automatically address someone who at least looks Asian or Japanese. The hakujins don't even have a chance haha.

5. How chang I am. I have been ridiculously cheap since I got here. Ridiculously cheap. Whenever I go to the 99 grocery store, I limit the number of items I buy. I mean the are all only $1! I have been cooking things that take the least number of ingredients and are hence the cheapest. Tonight for instance, I told myself I could only get 3 items, a little over $3 worth. I guess this way I hardly buy snacks and dessert for myself. I carry my shower stuff down in a plastic bag! Haha I don't think I will even end up buying a caddie. Its hardly worth it since I'm only here for a few more months. Or thats what I keep telling myself :)

6. Overeating. Whenever I find something I love, I tend to overindulge and make myself sick of it. I love popcorn, but I used to eat so much at a time that I would get a stomachache. I stopped making it. Here I hardly let myself buy snacks and such, but it seems like I have already overeaten a variety of things. I found this snack called "Carmel Corn," it is like puffed crunchy, sweet, and sugar-coated. Really good. Last night I ate the whole bag in less than 30 minutes. I don't know why I do this to myself...needless to say, I've turned myself off to snacks.

Things I Love

2009-04-30T03:20:00.000-07:00

1. Food, drinks, snacks, chocolate, milk tea, and soft-serve ice cream! The food here is absolutely unbelievable! I have loved everything I have eaten...or rather everything but natto, lol! I have been eating an onigiri each day for breakfast. Lunch at the cafeteria is soo good! And very reasonable. Since fruit is pretty expensive here, I haven't been eating as much as I usually do. In order to control my junk food consumption, I only let myself eat snacks on the weekend. Delicious! Sembe, anpan, bread in general, snacky chips, and sweets. Omg. Love the chocolate here too! There is one kind that has an espresso/coffee flavor. Really yummy. Usually I am not into snacks and sweets, but it is a totally different story in Japan! Ice cream too! I have been calling it frozen yogurt because I always think ice cream is limited to the stuff that you scoop into balls. Apparently not. Lol, it made me feel more healthy tho..

2. SHOPPING! I love shopping here. Shibuya 109 (the all girls stuff mall) has to be my favorite. The stuff they sell here is so much more girly that you could ever find in the US. Really cute. There are just a ton ton of girls stores. You can pretty much buy whatever you want in any price range too. Harajuku is reasonable. Shibuya nicer, but more expensive. I still want to buy more dresses, jackets, and heels. It seems like I can justify any purchase here. I mean when would be my next chance to buy all these Japanese articles of clothing?! Lol, not a good mentality.

3. Tokyo weight-loss plan. I've heard a ton of stories of people who have lost weight and pant sizes while they were in Japan. I hoped it was true. I wish we had a scale in the dorm, but I am sure I have. My jeans are loose. Its perfect, no diet, no exercise, and you still get results. Pretty much the same line that every weight-loss infomercial uses! HAHA. Portion sizes are significantly smaller here. I know I probably eat half of what I would in the states. It doesn't even matter that I have karaage chicken sandwiches and all that ice cream! The walking probably also helps. I make myself take the stairs at school. I have class on the 6th floor in the morning and 5th after lunch. So I walk up at least 11 flights everyday.

4. No worries. Whenever I travel I am pretty much oblivious to everything in the news. It is bad in many respects, but at the same time it helps me enjoy what I am doing at that particular moment in time, in my life. While I have been here, I haven't worried about my future, what I'm going to do post graduation. I am not working. This is pretty much what vacations are like. I am relaxed, happy, and ready for what is coming next.

5. Nightlife. It is arguable that there are few other places in the world that are as happening as Tokyo. There are an infinate number of clubs, bars, izakayas, karaoke joints here. There are so many different places to go. Really. Shinjuku, Shibuya, Harajuku, Ebisu, Roppongi, on and on. All are easily accessible via train and each is has a different character. Nomihoudai is by far the best Japanese invention ever. There is nothing more to say!

6. Cleanliness. I love how clean the streets and every public areas are. There is not graffiti on the trains, nor is there leftover garbage. People make an effort to be garbage courteous and it shows. There really is not trash blowing around or on the sidewalks. Really nice.

7. Service. I suppose this is part of the reason I like shopping too. Everyone working at the stores makes an extra effort to cater to the customers. Girls have held my stuff while I tried on jackets! I love how they wrap up everything that you buy, especially if it is a present. No gift wrapping necessary when you hand off the omiyage. So convenient and cute.

8. So much to do! I haven't had a lot of time to "play tourist" yet, so there is a lot I am looking forward to. Tokyo is so huge! Really just a huge variety of cultural, entertainment, and various things happening here. My friends and I have starting making a list of everything that is a must-do before we leave. We especially want to go to a sumo match, kabuki performance, etc. Haha I really want to try to take a cooking class or ikebana lessons too!

9. Japanese people. Everyone I have met here is so open and kind. I have heard some of the exchange students complain about how they were treated poorly by people in clubs or when they were shopping, but I really have not experienced that much yet. I have pretty much completely positive interactions with the people here. I have been every pleased. I do feel bad for people having to listen to my poor Japanese. I am an embarrassment to the motherland. Lol.

That's probably my top list for now. I will probably add on more later.

Things I Miss

2009-04-29T02:08:00.000-07:00

1. Of course my friends and Reese are my number one. It is funny how much I miss the small things. Like not even going out or the parties, but watching movies together, "family dinners", complaining about our classes, and making plans together. There is so much I want to do once I get back I cannot even start to make a list.

2. Privacy. I forgot how different it is to live in a dorm. I don't mind being around people, but I prefer to do it on my own terms. Cooking in the shared kitchen is not my favorite thing in the world. I am used to quiet and calm while I am at home. Or that is what I have come to expect of my apartment or residence. There are just days I'd rather have the place to myself and not have to deal with the busyness and people at every corner that seem to characterize dorms.

3. Sharing meals. It is sad to cook for one. I used to look forward to dinners. I didn't even mind cooking. Now since it is just for myself it feels like such a waste. I miss the days I used to come home from class and there would be a note on the door and warm food on the stove. Megan is my favorite Hawaiian cook! It was the cutest thing to come home and find a freshly made meal. Miss her food, miss sharing mine.

4. Warm water and shower pressure. There are two shower rooms here. One for guys and the other for girls. They switch every month or so because only one has a sauna. There is an ofuro in the other one, but no one seems to use it and there is never water in it. We can't win with either of the shower rooms. The one with the ofuro sprays lukewarm water. The temperure can be turned to the hottest setting and it is hard to stand under it because the temperature is cold. In the one with the sauna, the showers have no water pressure. It feels like you are taking a rain bath. Really sad in all respects.

5. My down pillow! I am huge on having nice, big, fluffy pillows. I almost brought mine last minute, and now I am sad I didn't. The dorm provided a very hard Japanese pillow. But I bought myself a better one at Mujis (a home store). The store is not that cheap so I settled for a square pillow that was actually meant for decoration on a couch or something. It has not held up to say the least. It is totally flat and can't be more than two inches thick now. Should have figured, haha.

6. Using card. I am really shocked at the limited number of places you can actually use a credit/debit card as a form of payment. Japanese is very very cash oriented still. I knew they were, but not to this degree. The places that tend to accept plastic are the stores/restaurants that are either big chains or more expensive. The inconvenience factor is hard to get over. In Seattle I rarely carried much cash if any.

7. Casual dress code. Girls here go all out. Even going to class, practically everyone wears heels and skirts/dresses. I have not seen any girls wearing the typical sweatpants and hoodie that are frequent in the northwest. I feel like I am always underdressed. Always. I am the only one I've seen wearing slippers (flip-flops). They have some really nice fitted jackets and heels here though. Shoppers paradise :)

8. Personal space. I have gotten used to the packed trains, but not totally. I keep thinking how funny it would be to set up a train system in the US and try to convince Americans to pack into them as tightly as they do here. HAHAHA. It makes me laugh every time I think about it! People would only allow this type of crowding if they are in collectivist cultures. This would be a no go for sure in the America.

9. Late night transportation. Sure the busses in Seattle aren't as efficient or as fast as the trains in Tokyo. BUT they run till 2 or so in the morning. I know one of these days I am going to miss the train and it will be one of the nights I wasn't planning on staying out all night. I hate to think that I might have to kill upwards of 4 hours at an internet cafe or somewhere else. Walking is out of the question. I miss my car and the convenience that comes with having a backup plan.

10. American music. This may seem silly, but you would never realize the difference that it makes when you can actually understand the lyrics. Haha its been Japanese music only since I got here. I love Ketsumeishi, who I've primarily been listening to. More than anything I recently have been choosing music based on how it sounds rather than the words or actual meaning of the song. I finally gave in today and let myself listen to an hours worth of the American songs that are on Reese's iPod. Reese is right. My favorite songs are the repetitive ones. But they need a good bass and beat too. I think M-flow and a few others will hold me over till I get back.

Nagging Feeling

2009-04-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

Its 1 in the morning and I am wide awake. Seriously I am dead tired. Just can't sleep. Its one of those nights when I am caught up in my thoughts and worries.

I think what is bothering me most is possibility I am not getting as much out of this experience as I could. I hate to admit it, but I haven't used a whole lot of Japanese since I got here. In situations when I need to, of course I try. But other than that, my classes are taught in English, most of my friends speak English to me, and I live in an international dorm where the primary language spoken is of course also English. I can speak Japanese better than I could when I initially got here. But that really isn't saying much. I am okay if I am speaking colloquially, but I always end up spitting out some really informal phrase at the wrong time. It is not easy to put together entire sentences. And they hardly come out as complete thoughts. Haha my Japanese is a fragment of words and ideas, not necessarily strung together properly or grammatically.

My second concern is that I have not made a lot of Japanese friends. Its not that I haven't made any, its just that I wouldn't say we have done a lot together. They are more of acquaintances at this point. A good number of the girls went to international schools in Japan too, so they have absolutely perfect English. Everyone is really nice though. I see a number of the girls on a weekly basis, just haven't really hung out that much yet. We need time and the chance to do things together. A big problem is that my phone won't let me text certain people. I don't know what the problem is. But communicating has been hard. Everyone here texts, so I have been out of the loop lately.

I have heard that two of the biggest regrets foreign exchange students have are 1. not making many friends from the country they are in and 2. not improving their language skills. I feel like if I don't make more of an effort, I will regret these aspects as well. It worries me that I have already been here for over a month and I don't really feel like I have been doing well in either area. I remind myself that this is only the 3rd week of school, but then again I turn it around and think "I have already wasted 3 weeks..." I need to make some changes. Time is going so fast. I have just a little over 3 months and my chances are fleeting. I don't want to regret what I can change.

"Cannibal Tours" and Self Reflection

2009-04-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

Today in my "Culture and Identity" anthro class, we watched a movie entitled "Cannibal Tours." It was made in the 80's so it was somewhat dated, but nevertheless very interesting. It basically looked at the tourism industry in New Guinea and how much if it is based on the "primative" aspects of the culture. How the exotic is marketed and sold. How tourism is in a sense trapping the people into sterotypes that Westerners would have of the native culture and thus what is is like to live with nature, stuff like that.

The movie pretty much focused on the ignorance of the tourists. They go in wanting to see a "backward" culture, criticize it, take pictures, buy art, are in and then out. Some of the stuff they said was just ridiculous. Like, "They have really easy lives," "it must be nice to live without worries like they do." Just stupid stuff like that. Watching the movie it was easy to laugh at the tourists and their attempt to understand the natives.

As much as I hate to admit it though I can see myself in their ignorance and wrongfully placed concern. It was sad to hear one of the older villagers explain how unfair "second" or "third" (negotiated) prices were. The tourists would try to barter to bring the prices down, even though it was obvious they could afford the initial price. Another woman was explaining how the tourists don't buy much and don't really help out the local people. The inequalities between the natives and tourists were startling.

When I was in India, I bartered for a lot of the stuff I bought at bazaars. I really wasn't good at it, but sometimes I could get the price of whatever I wanted lowered. All of the Indian college students that we met warned us not to get "ripped off" by the people selling things. They automatically raise prices when they see foreigners because they know we don't know any better. Looking back now I feel really bad. Like seriously, "Laurel, just pay the guy the money so he can support his family!" If anything it really is chunk change for us. They need it so much more. Its really ridiculous how caught up we get with money. How cheap we can be. Its sad to think how it can blind us. So instead of showing compassion, empathy, and humanity, money rules us and our interactions with other human beings. It is surprising how much you resemble the people you don't want to be.

The Person Behind the Free Tissues

2009-04-28T03:45:00.000-07:00

My original purpose of this blog was to document my observations and emotions through the 4 or so months that I am living in Tokyo. I honestly have not had a lot of time to write thoughtful posts that really address what I am trying to. From now on I am going to try to comment on all the small notes that I have left for myself. Hopefully I will move this from what has been my superficial day to day activities to something deeper. We'll see. This is one of the more serious topics I have wanted to note for a while.

If you have ever been to Japan, you know that there are a countless number of people who hand out free things. Their job is to exhaust their boxes of advertising tissues, flyers, or whatever the item of the day happens to be. Japanese people are pretty good at hawking things. I did realize that till I came to Tokyo. Whether it is at Harajuku's small shops, getting people into restaurants, or selling products at their stores, they are not shy at advertising whatever they have to offer. Paid to do it in fact.

On the busy streets, people try to get rid of the free stuff their employer gives them. They speak to you in keigo (polite Japanese) and almost beg of you to take the freebie. I always feel bad for them. Sure it is a job, but not a great one. I am really sensitive to rejection, so there is no way I would be able to do what they do and keep my self-confidence. I already know I would rather be a janitor or garbage person, rather than loosing myself in rejection as a telemarketer or person who hands out things that people don't actually want.

Usually the people with these jobs are young. Like twenties or whatever. They will move on, they'll have better opportunities later. I have recently noticed that there are a surprising number of middle aged men that have that job as well. Specifically, on the first day of school, there was a balding man who was standing at the corner of Sophia university. As college students would pass, he tried to hand off fliers. Of course, most of the students were not interested. I don't know if he got rid of any of them...

What is like to be you? Here you are standing outside a private school watching girls with designer brand bags and guys wearing $200 jeans pass you everyday. You are halfway through your life and this is the position you are put in? I really felt bad.

I always wondered if people envied us. Even at SU I wonder. There are a good number of students who are well off and whose daddies were paying for them to go to private school. At the same time, it seems like everywhere (Sophia, SU, train stations) there are older people, who should be in their golden years, but instead they are cleaning the bathrooms and sweeping the steps. Really, truly I have seen grandparent aged people providing the menial labor and services in both the US and Japan.

I mean, lol my grandpa collects cardboard for crying out loud. He doesn't need to, but for some reason he does. So I'm not ruling out the chance that they are in the same situation. Perhaps they just want to. But at the same time, maybe they have work to support themselves. If the second option is the case, I could see how they would rightfully have a chip on their shoulder.

I really don't know what I'm exactly trying to say here. Just some thoughts. I've been dying to get these down so I don't forget.

Slackin

2009-04-28T03:31:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have the feeling that you are not all there? Like you are awake and conscious, but just going through the motions. Not really fully living. Haha I've had that feeling since yesterday.

Pretty much I was out of it all day Sunday. I slept 8am-1pm. Saturday as I said before was an all nighter. Not the best decision I have made. Right now my mentality is that I would rather miss out on sleep rather than some thing else. You only live once. And seriously, how many times will I get the chance to do whatever I want in Tokyo. Lol pretty soon it will not be socially acceptable for me to do this stuff. I will be forced to be responsible and finally "grow up." In the mean time, I'm gonna take full advantage of my college student classification.

If I missed out on sleep this weekend, I made up for it Monday. After hitting the snooze button countless times, I woke up to the sound of the church bells. Not a good sign. They ring every half hour and these were specifically marking 8:30 am. The latest I can leave my dorm and get to school in time is 8! Lol. I decided to make the most of it and of course sleep some more...My 3 hr Japanese class is broken into two 1.5 hr classes. I figured I'd get to school in time to catch the second half. I had already missed the quiz and my chance to turn in my homework, both of which I had prepared...arrr. So I went back to sleep. Lol woke up late for my second class. I finally made it to school for 3rd period. Lol got to campus at 1! My bad...

I have some catching up to do...

Pictures!

2009-04-28T02:52:00.000-07:00

Yay! Lol my mom reminds me all the time how nice pictures would be on my blog. Well haha mom here some are. I tend to take awful pictures, so these are some the ones I was able to salvage...LOL.

Strangely enough I have been hanging out with a bunch of Hawaii people. Scott went to Punahou and graduated same year as Reese. Kim is good friends with one of Reese's friends at Santa Clara. Candice and Landon also from Honolulu. Small world. And of course Jocelyn the Aussie and only white girl in these pics. Lol.

The girls!

Money Problems

2009-04-26T06:30:00.000-07:00

For probably the first time in my life, I am legitimately strapped for cash. When we went out yesterday I was going to put our nomihoudai and food check (for all 23 of us!) on my credit card. Thank god Travis's friend was good at math and sober enough to figure it all out, get everyone their change, and I got the cash. The check came back though...my card was rejected...

It was probably one of the most sinking feelings I have ever felt. Especially when I only had $10 cash. I didn't even have enough to pay for my part of the bill...I started panicking. My limit is in the thousands. I know my card worked before. I literally am broke, in debt in fact. I tried taking money out of the atm earlier and all four of my debit/credit cards were rejected...I thought it was a glitch in the machine. What the f* am I going to do?!

Someone covered the check (with their visa that worked...arr) and my friend spotted me $6 so I could pay for my part. Lol. I have no yen bills, literally just pennies. Not good, not good at all.

Travis assured me that I probably just have to call the card company again to remind them I am in Japan so they don't block my transactions. I was so scared though. I don't have any money, no way of immediately getting money, and I'm so far from home...I don't even have my residence card yet, so I can't set up a bank account until next week. It is such a helpless feeling.

I wasn't going to go out to the club, but my friends assured me that they could lend me money. Jocelyn even said that she would take money out of the atm to hold me over for however long. Thank goodness for friends, seriously. You never realize how much they mean to you till times like this. And I just met her 2 weeks ago. There's really nothing more I can say. Just amazing how kind people are. There is no reason to loose faith in others after you meet people like this.

I borrowed some money from Kim's boyfriend, enough to pay for the club and allow me to eat for a few days. On my way home from the station I bought groceries. Haha and I thought I was cheap before! I got rice, eggs, bread, jam, bean sprouts, and tea. I figured I have at least 3 dinners for $5.61. Plus the two ramens I bought earlier. I have enough food for 5 dinners. Its really sad when you have to ration food. I really have to cut back on how much I eat and spend for the next few days. Lol today I ate one piece of bread, ramen, and half the bean sprouts. I waited as long as I could before I even ate the piece of bread for lunch. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Really this is nothing though. As soon as my parents call the credit card company, I literally have a sky high limit or it would be no problem for them to wire me money once I open a bank account. Money is not the problem, accessing it is.

This has made me really appreciate what I have. I feel so lucky this is actually the first time I have had a "money problem." Honestly, I've never truly had to set strict budgets. I have never been broke. I have never worried about money. I cannot say that I support myself, but financially my parents have always paid for what I cannot afford. I've always had access to some form of saved money and spending money. For someone my age, I actually have a ton of financial freedom. I don't think I have ever really recognized that.

I know this is not the case for most college students or even middle aged people. People have car payments, mortgage, credit card bills, or whatever. Most people owe some money on something. I can't imagine the anxiety that people feel when they are on the verge, close to foreclosure, behind on their payments. I knew a good number of Americans are in debt, especially now, and with the economic crisis the job prospects look bleak in all areas. I mean, in many areas of the world it is even worse. Food shortages and high food prices have been raising malnutrition in the most desperate regions. Instead of moving toward the UN Millennium Development Goals, many of these problems have been raising hunger and poverty levels.

Its funny how I can be so desperate, so scared. Then when I put the situation in perspective I realize how stupid I am. I have friends I can borrow money from. I have parents who can work it out. I eat everyday. I am so lucky. Lol, I am so spoiled I titled this blog "money problem!" This is not a money problem, its a glitch, a fixable problem. We'll figure something out this week. Life will go on. This has been a valuable lesson for me. Here's to the countless people who live day to day, dollar by dollar, meal to meal. I have a very shallow understanding of your pain. Let there be a day when no one has to worry. Until then, if we all support each other, we will all be okay.

Out All Night AND Saw the Sun Rise On My Way Home...

2009-04-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was probably the craziest day I've had since getting here.

Travis and I went to another English service at Tsukiji Betsuin. Its really cool, they do services in English once a month. The ministers were so nice last time we went and the howa topic was how religion fits into your life, The only problem was the weather was TERRIBLE. It was pouring all day yesterday and I had to give myself a pep talk just to go outside. It was absolutely pouring...Probably the wettest day yet.

The actual temple was open this time, so we went to see the shrine. The hondo (main worship hall) was absolutely huge. It was so gorgeous. The shrine was equally impressive, there was a minister dusting it. He was standing on one of the main tables near the state of the Buddha and the flower arrangement was as big as he was...its hard to imagine, but really impressive. I'll post pictures when Travis loads his...

The service was good. Its weird because more so here than in the US, the gathas (songs) are sung with a very gospelish feeling. I've never really realized it at any other temples besides the one here in Japan. They sing the songs with more of a worshipping type of sound. Kind of hard to explain, but it reminded me of the Methodist services I've been to. Irrelevant, but anyways...

Its nice to have the religious aspect once in a while. I admit I don't go to service much in the US, but I think it is worth the time.

The ministers invited us to go out with them for dinner after. Lol unfortunately, we already had plans and reservations for nomihoudai with our friends. Haha.

We met Travis' dormmates and my friends to eat dinner and drink at Zest again. Travis called in a reservation for 20 people, but actually there turned out to be 23 of us. It was really crazy. We had a huge table. We were there from 8-10 and had a countless number of drinks and tequila hopper shots. By the time we were finished, everyone was doing really well.

After Travis and his friends went home. Lol we should have, but Kim had a friend who turned 21 last night, so all of us from Sophia went out to meet up with them. We met up with them and went to a Camelot, a club in Shibuya. Entrance fee is usually $25 for girls and $35 for guys, but AJ (b-day boy) had a coupon. So we all got in and got two drinks for $10! We probably got there at 11ish. At that point it wasn't too busy, but as the night wore on, it was packed. Interesting ppl there. LIke the Japanese were fine, but some of the foreigners were pretty weird. I'll talk about that in another post.

Since we missed the train, we were at the club from 11pm-4am...I don't know how people do it. So crazy, we were dead at the end. We caught the first train home at 4:45 am. It was so full. I was super surprised. I got home at 6 am. I saw the sun rise as I was riding the train back to my place...It was a very disgusting feeling...

Its so funny because walking home from the station people were already doing things in their garden or whatever. I hadn't even slept yet and they were already starting their day...

I talked to Reese then went down to take a shower. Haha I was already dressed and brought down my pajamas. Other girls were in their pajamas and changing into their clothes. It was ridiculous. I couldn't believe I was showering to sleep when for most of the world it was exactly the opposite.

I finally went to sleep at 8 am Sunday morning!!! I hadn't slept since Friday night...I set my alarm for 7 pm. Lol I won't be doing this again. Turns out I didn't even need my alarm. I woke up at 1 pm this afternoon...

Food and Such

2009-04-24T08:04:00.000-07:00

I realize how cheap I've been with my meals. I don't eat breakfast here (or in the US), but it only costs me like $7 a day to eat lunch and dinner. Haha. I can get lunch at school for between $2.50-4.50. And pretty much every dinner I make costs $3 or under. Lol. Its pretty ridiculous. My goal is to stay under $8 a day for lunch, dinner, snacks, and drinks.

At school I can get udon/soba/ramen for under $3.50. They sell gyuu don (meat over rice) for $3.50 and big plate lunches for $4.50. Curry for the same and pastas and stuff. I've been getting quick food lately. Like sandwiches, yakisoba, sushi rice, karage chicken in a hotdog bun. Haha. All of those are priced under $2.50. They have really good onigiris too. They're only $1 a piece, but like someone said "it's like playing russian roulette," you really can't tell what you are going to get. I pick at random since I cannot read the kanji. Usually my decision is based on how many of each are left. I figure the most popular ones are worth a shot.

For dinner I have made a variety of dishes. Fried rice, tarako spaghetti, karage chicken, french toast, ramen, udon, gyuu don, gyoza, etc for a little over $2. There is microwavable rice at the 99 store, so it is a lifesaver! I usually have a salad or some type of vegetable. Lol, I used to buy a lot of bread and desserts before. Now I am limiting it to the weekends. There is no reason to eat an excessive amount of extra sweet stuff. I pretty much try something new everyday though.

I must admit that I love the milk with artificial coffee flavoring. It is soo sweetened and good. If any of my co-workers at Starbucks heard this, I would totally not get rehired. Haha. I don't really like coffee, but I really like the Asian version that's not actually coffee at all :)

I know I've lost weight since I got here. My portions are more controlled and I know I eat less. I noticed today that my jeans are loose too. I guess that's the benefit of walking so much and eating less. This is a good thing!

OMG!!! MY FAVORITE SONG EVER!

2009-04-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

Omg, I just found the artist and title of my favorite Japanese song of all time!!!! I really didn't think that I would be able to ever figure it out! This is soo exciting for me. You have no idea!

Lol last time I was here (haha in 2004), someone burned me a mix cd of a bunch of Japanese bands. Stuff that was popular. I mean back then. There was one song on that cd that i LOVED! I lost the cd and I don't think I have it on any of my computers. I never thought I would be able to ever hear it again or figure out who it was.

Weird coincidence. So last night I went with some friends to a place you can rent cds and dvds. I wanted to sign up, but since I don't have my residence card yet, I couldn't. When I got back I was thinking how cool it would be if I could find the song. Like a long shot, but still. The rental place has like a ridiculous number of cds, different genres, classics. You can rent cds for like $3 and load the whole thing on your computer then return them. Such a genius concept. They discourage you from doing it, but I mean its better than downloading. This is at least legal.

Joel was suggesting different artists to me. I mainly like hip-hop and reggae stuff, so there are only a couple of artists that I actually remember him mentioning. One group is called ケツメイシ I remember them because their 5 or more albums were all bright colors.

I was just looking them up and playing random songs. Somehow I stumbled upon the one song from 2004. Pretty amazing. I am soo happy.

Here it is: ケツメイシ - 涙

GL-Net Lunches

2009-04-24T06:13:00.000-07:00

Sophia has a really good group called Global Network. They sponsor a bunch of activities for exchange students. Like they threw us a welcome party when we first got here and help to get us aquatinted with the culture. I don't know if you could really consider it a club...hmmm.

Either way, the Japanese students are soo nice. I just starting going to the "lunchtime salon" this week. Basically they open up a classroom and whoever (exchange students and Japanese students) eat lunch there together. Its really a good way to meet people and talk. More than anything it gives us a chance to practice our Japanese. Really good practice. Plus there are so many Japanese kids there, it is really good for listening practice.

Lol everyone is really patient. They are really willing to answer any questions or anything too. Really really friendly students. Different people come on different days and I always meet someone new. I really appreciate this program. Such a good idea. And it is nice that there is such a warm reception of us. The room is usually packed. A lot of Japanese people come. Its really quite amazing.